From the monthly archives:

May 1999

I’d Be Only Too Happy to Take Some of Their Fat – I’m a Stick Figure Man Anyway

May 29, 1999

Why are all the management at my work so obese? And not only do a lot of them need to lose weight, they also need to re-arrange it. And I know it’s horribly immature of me, but I’ve never denied that my peurile factor is quite high… but when Hardware House advertise a “Big Tool [...]

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I’d Be Worried Even More if the Kid was Only Turning 13

May 26, 1999

I tried an experiment today. I opened a bottle of Coke, and drank some. It tasted like Coke. Then I pulled the label off and drank some more. Suddenly it didn’t taste like Coke anymore. That’s marketing for you. They may as well call it Brown, Bubbly & Wet™. Another Whathafuck?! moment today – I [...]

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We Have an Emergency and Need a Kinky Fireman – Now

May 24, 1999

It’s No Wonder I Haven’t Been Promoted Yet When I Say Things Like This At Work #582: Today at work we witnessed 6 firetrucks drive past in quick succession. Ms Superiority (Resident Bitch): I wanted to be a fireman when I was a kid. I wouldn’t mind doing that as a job, actually. Me: Good [...]

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Sorry, We Can’t Insure a Personal Vehicle With Gun Turrets

May 22, 1999

Today I was driving to the local shopping centre and encountered my first real life road rage incident. A guy cut off some other guy, then when he slowed down at the intersection, he got out of his car, went to the other guy’s car and tried to punch him through his open window. He [...]

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No Free List

May 21, 1999

Today at the uni I work at, we released our second semester timetable, but not until 4pm. You should’ve seen it though – we had students all lining up outside the admin offices eager to get their hands on the new timetable so they could enrol and not miss out on their classes. You’d be [...]

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“…………..”

May 19, 1999

You gotta love student protests. When I was at uni, I’d protest about the lack of salt on my chips if it meant I’d have a good excuse to not go to class. Today’s Anti-VSU protest in the city today was pretty lame as far as protests go though.. hehe. I mean, I haven’t really [...]

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Free Transport and an Opportunity to Talk to Sexy People: You Can’t Lose

May 18, 1999

I’ve figured out a neat trick with my daily ticket I buy for Melbourne’s public transport. See, I have to travel via a V-Line train (country train) into Melbourne, and I buy a daily Melbourne public transport ticket there. What I have been doing lately, is giving my still-valid ticket to anyone I find attractive [...]

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I Can’t Believe I’m Not Bitter

May 17, 1999

Um, today’s subject line is totally irrelevant to anything I have to say. I’ve desperately been trying to think of something that involves both deep emotional feelings and margarine so I could use that subject line, but it’s not working. (How about this: Whenever I use margarine as a deodorant, it leaves me both oily [...]

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That Lung You Just Coughed Up Into Your Lap is a Sure Sign

May 16, 1999

I had a few ciggers this weekend. Now normally, I don’t think you could classify me as a smoker, but it does feel comfortable sometimes having a cigger in my hand when I have a drink in the other. I should be careful though – I’ll have to watch out if I start smoking too [...]

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I’m So Sorry My Dear, I Can’t Sleep With You. I Have a Hunchback

May 13, 1999

Today in a nearby shopping centre, a police band was providing some light entertainment during lunch. Except this was not your average police band. We’re talking a try hard guy on an electric guitar he didn’t dare to play a chord on, only single notes; a cheesy Casio keyboard, and a crapola electronic drum kit, [...]

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