Um, today’s subject line is totally irrelevant to anything I have to say. I’ve desperately been trying to think of something that involves both deep emotional feelings and margarine so I could use that subject line, but it’s not working. (How about this: Whenever I use margarine as a deodorant, it leaves me both oily and depressed that I’ve wasted margarine by doing something incredibly stupid. How’s that?)
Somebody I was talking to on the phone today told me snot tastes sweet when you eat it. We were discussing how well phlegm flavoured Chupa Chups would sell. (Personally, I’d look at introducing a hasish Chupa Chup before the phlegm Chupa Chup, but that’s just me). If snot tastes sweet, that surpises me because other bodily liquids like blood & bile are actually quite savoury, and go well with a side salad.
Is it not rather scary that McDonalds are a chief sponsor of the Olympics? Soon in the relay races they won’t be using a little stick, they’ll be passing boxes of McCookies and packs of Chicken Nuggets to each other. (And if you win the gold medal, you’ll get a crappy plastic toy from a Happy Meal. I have this mental image of Daniel Kowalski by the poolside, happily occupied pushing a Hamburglar figurine round in a tiny little plastic car).
Maybe we shouldn’t even have a stick in the relay races. Maybe we need…
Alternatives To Little Stick Things In The Sydney 2000 Olympics’ Relay Races:
* A cactus
* A scorpion
* Anything covered in superglue
* Anything white hot
* Anything securely shackled to your wrist
* A lit stick of TNT
* An anvil
* Your penis
* Someone else’s penis
* A stick shaped piece of margarine (hey! I got a margarine joke in!)