I have now come to the conclusion that all of the employees at my local service station earn commission every time they finish a sentence with a gravelly, drawn out “Maaaaaate”. (ie, every single sentence).
Although Ms Superiority, resident bitch at work, can be cruel and heartless, I do like her sometimes. She shares my despisement of Dawson’s Crap, surely the crappest TV show I’ve seen in a long time. (Appropriately enough on Channel Ten – or was that Channel Turd?) I told her that a certain member of staff was quite a big fan of Dawson’s, so she phoned up her office and had this conversation:
Ms Superiority: Is that you, Anna? (name obviously changed)
Anna: Yes. What is it?
Ms Superiority: I’ve just found out you like Dawson’s Creek.
Anna: Umm… yes.
Ms Superiority: Can you do something about that please?
Anna: Uh.. ok. Yes.
Ms Superiority: OK, get onto it! See you. *hangs up phone*
Although having said that, Ms Superiority has her cruel, heartless bitch side too, as demonstrated by this conversation today:
Me: Ahhh – look at that German Shepherd over the road. They’re the best dogs.
Ms Superiority: I hate dogs. Especially puppies.
Me: Do you like cats at all?
Ms Superiority: No. They shit me to tears. It makes me want to kill them.
Me: What do you like?? Do you like babies..?
Ms Superiority: Babies are creepy. They look like little hairless rabbits. I want to sit on them most of the time.
That would be a horrible way to end, too, having Ms Superiority sit on your face; bearing in mind her behind is broader than Michael Jackson’s definition of what “I love you” means.