Where’s the Cheese?

by Jeb on July 26, 1999

Having three hours of sleep is great fun. You do really dumb things like stumble outside to your car in the morning in a half-asleep stupor to drive to the train station, not realising your windscreen is completely covered in ice until you’ve driven halfway down the street.

There’s a certain chat site I use now and then that is a bit of a wierd chat room. You get decent people to chat to usually, but sometimes it’s over run by idiots. Eg:

Idiot guy on chat: Hi.
Me: Hi, how are you.
Idiot guy on chat: Good. How often do you wank?
Me: Excuse me??
Idiot guy on chat: Once I wanked 23 times in one day.
Me: You know, in some circles you would be classified as a ‘wanker’. Now piss off.

At my work, I do all the desktop publishing stuff on Microsoft Publisher. There was a guy who used to work at my work before I came along named Peter who used to do all his desktop publishing stuff on the software package Quark. Today at my work:

Ms Superiority (office bitch): You should learn Quark like what Peter did. You would be able to do heaps better stuff.
Me: Well, obviously I don’t have the technical expertise that Peter did.
Ms Superiority: He was so good at it, I reckon he might have wrote it. His name might have been Peter Quark, now I think about it.
Me: Hang on… was this Peter Russel-Quark?

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