My work (a uni) recently introduced a 1800 freecall phone number for general inquiries. This has lead to absolute mayhem with students abusing it and making prank calls. Since they found out about this phone number I’ve had a ton of those stupid “I. P. Daily” type names given for messages, but I think the best ones I heard would had to have been Jenny Taylor (say it quickly) and Ephilia Dick. At least some thought went into those, I guess.
One of the reception bimbos tried to give me Naprogesic (period pain medicine) for my headache earlier this week. Well, my headache was still there, but at least I was protected against any heavy, bloated, cramping, lower back pain feelings caused by my menstual blood flow.
I had to get my photo taken recently for my “student concession card” (I’m not a student but I work at a uni, so why not abuse the system?) – a fellow worker was getting their passport photos taken too. Have you noticed how shocking you always look in those passport shots? It’s stupid, but really, you should get your passport photo taken after your holiday. You tend to look far better.
Last night, as I was mixing bourbon with Coke:
My younger sister (sitting there watching in fascination at the process): So it’s just like making cordial, right?
Oh yeah, and I had my hair cut too. Yep, I had long hair, now I’m a shortie. Everyone keeps saying I look really “clean” now, which I’m not sure how to take. Is that as opposed to me always looking dirty before I got it cut?
I also went to Lorne this weekend. Now, I’m not sure if you’ve ever driven on the Great Ocean Road, but basically it’s one of the twistiest, curviest, lumpiest, cliffy roads you’ve ever seen. Beautifully scenic, but half the time you’re looking at all the trees and stuff, then you realise there’s a 340 degree turn to the right only 4 metres away. It’s a great road for people who get car sickness. I guess you could call it the Great Motion Road.
You know, if I got the job as VicRoads president, I’d change the rules for everyone who was going for their licence in any town in the Great Ocean Road area so that they had to drive the G.O.R. to get their licence. They’d all fail. Bwa, ha, ha.
Anyhow, I noticed as I was driving to Lorne, there was an amazingly large amount of yuppie drivers on the road. All these richarse expensive cars everywhere. Now, on the Great Ocean Road, it’s basically impossible to overtake someone because of all the twists and turns, and you’re driving at an average speed of about 50kph. I’m sure you can just picture me in my trusty Datsun Sunny with a long line of frustrated yuppie drivers behind me flashing their headlights. There was nothing I could really do about it though. But I look on the bright side. The Great Ocean Road is a Red Spot High Accident Zone, so as long as the yuppies keep driving on the road, there’s a greater chance more of them will die.
Things That Make Me Laugh About The Dr Pepper Bottle Label:
* The bit that says ‘Made to the authentic recipe of Dr Pepper Company Dallas, Texas’ – because every bottle you buy tastes either stronger or weaker – you get a different blend almost every time.
* The bit that says ‘Do not accept imitations’. I’m looking around, and I sure don’t see any other company dumb/brave enough to try marketing a drink like Dr Pepper.
* The current promotion, ‘Suck It And See’ – provides basis for endless sexual inuendo jokes.