Well, I’m back. I finally got a job!
For the last two months I’ve been half heartedly looking for a job. For some reason that you can only understand when you’re unemployed, I thought it would be a really good idea if I played The Legend Of Zelda on the Nintendo for most of these two months. This turned out to be the most stupid decision made in history since MC Hammer decided to exclusively sing gospel songs. But now, I’m working. It’s only a temp position for two months but it’s enough to get me back on my feet.
But when I decided to really start looking for a job properly, I looked really hard. But this I can not figure out: when you walk into an employment agency and staff greet you by name, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Actually, while I was offline, Kathryn and Georgina sent me a job position they found advertised in a Cairns job centre – ‘Crocodile Attack Show Host’. If only I had have been online, I could have been employed by now!
So now I have to get used to waking up early in the morning again, instead of only getting out of bed to watch Ricki Lake. I’ve devised a new method of waking myself up at 6.45am, and it works quite well. Instead of setting your alarm to a radio station when you wake up, tune it into radio static. Trust me. It’s a hell of a lot more annoying than any breakfast radio team could ever be. Plus it scares you shitless and you need to have a shower to get over the shock.
Of course, when you’re not working, it makes it quite hard to pay the bills. On my mobile phone, I used to have this service called Update, which sends messages to the screen of your phone on a variety of topics. I used to get my horoscope sent to the screen of my phone every day. Now, at this stage, I was trying to find ways to cut down on my costs. One morning I got a horoscope telling me to “Eliminate petty and unecessary financial burdens”. So when the phone company asked me why I was disconnecting my Update service, I just said ‘You told me to’.
I’m also about to start doing volunteer work in the fire brigade. I’m really only doing it so I can find out the way the fire brigade works, then I’m going to open up my own rival fire brigade. I’ll even have frequent fire points.
All that furor regarding the Olympic tickets happened while I was offline, too. Well, I don’t care. I got exactly the amount of Olympic tickets I ordered. None.