I found out today: I don’t have glandular fever. Hurrah! I did nothing to celebrate this fact except watch Beauty and the Beast again (if I was unemployed, I’d probably start watching this show on a regular basis, so it’s lucky for my mental health I do have a job). And by the way, has anyone else seen the Cash Converters ad with the guy trying to see what’s behind the wall, and all he can hear is people chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen”? I reckon that has got to be the funniest ad this year.
The other day someone known only as Fred left a message in my guestbook asking if I would go to bed with him. Fred, the answer is no, unless you’re Reverend Fred Nile, in which case I have a few new tricks to teach you.
Another ad I saw today was for the soy drink Vitasoy. The star of the Vitasoy ad is Shane Gould, and as she’s introduced on the ad, a list of her qualifications come on the screen. These include charities she’s worked with and the fact she’s an Olympic gold medalist. But here’s what gets me: one of her qualifications is “Healthy Australian”. How on earth can she put that there? What formal training or achievement is required to become a Healthy Australian?
So seeing as bloody Shane Gould can put whatever she likes on her resume, I’ve revised my own resume this afternoon. My qualifications now look like this:
And I don’t even need to drink Vitasoy to do all these things. (I bet you’re wondering what an ocelot is. And no, it’s not one of those Pokemon things).
My sister, now that she’s finished high school, has a lot of spare time on her hands until she starts uni next year. Something she’s taken to doing is hanging round the lounge room waiting for the postie to deliver our mail. As soon as he comes up the street she roars out the front to grab it out of his hands. I’ve grown rather suspicious of this practice after today though, as she told me that I didn’t have any mail in a rather suspicious voice. I thought I’d check later on, and what do you know? I had 2 letters. I have no idea what she wanted to do with an Optus bill and a Fly Buys points statement, but she had something planned. Am I the only one living with an evil mail baron? Let me know. Maybe we can start some sort of group therapy thing.