My sister’s high school is about to have a Christmas market. My mum’s helping organise it, and she’s trying to think of things to put in an ad they’re going to put in the paper:
My mum: Maybe I should just put on it that we’re having devonshire teas. People like devonshire tea. That’ll make them come along.
Me: Are they having devonshire tea?
My mum: I don’t think they are.
Me: Well, if you’re going to advertise something that you’re not actually going to have, why not put something like strippers? People like strippers, that’ll make them come along.
*****
We got a letter in the mail from the charity Yooralla today. Now, nothing against Yooralla as a charity, but I spotted a bit of a technical glitch on their letter: “Morgan is a precious gift to us. His twin brother, Lawson, died shortly after birth but Morgan miraculously survived, despite the odds of arriving 12 months premature.”
Think about it. Having a baby 12 months premature…? That means the baby knows you’re having a baby before you do.
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Some time ago I registered with a company who conducts consumer research. Basically, this company rings me up every now and then and asks me a survey, and sometimes they get me to come in and test new products and stuff (I get paid, of course). They rang me up today, probably just updating my record:
Survey woman: Hello, we’re just calling to see if any of your details have changed.
Me: Sure, okay.
Survey woman: Now, when we last spoke to you, you weren’t smoking. Do you currently smoke?
Me: Nup.
Survey woman: Okay. And I also need to ask… is your birthday still the 2nd of July?
Me: ……………….how could my birthday change?
Survey woman: Um, okay, thanks, bye
*****
I’m so hoping that Y2K wipes out all the computer systems at my work. I’ll get a few paid days off at the very least. Then again, they’ll probably start making us use Etch-A-Sketches instead of computers or something. Hmm… it was about time someone made an invention to replace that hard-to-use pencil anyway.