From the yearly archives:

1999

DJ Wobbly

April 26, 1999

Today I went to the milk bar near my work to get some milk for the office. I had to ask for a receipt, because it was being paid for by my work. When I asked for a receipt, the horribly scary woman behind the counter goes “Oh but only because you’re such a sweetie”. [...]

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There’s Too Much Dairy in Here

April 25, 1999

A small coffee incident today. In my office that I work in, we take it in turns to go and buy the coffee for morning tea. It was my turn this morning, and everyone wanted me to go to this new place across the road that specialises in making lasagna. So I bought about 6 [...]

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I Thought You’d Combed it or Something

April 24, 1999

Yesterday: Me: Hey, your hair looks different. Did you do something to it? Extremely vague female friend: Yes, I made it look different.

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Cox in Bottams

April 22, 1999

At my work (a university) right now, it’s time for students to hand in mid semester essays and do mid semester exams. Since I quit university last year, I’d completely forgotten how clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page essay until I saw some of the students hand in their efforts. [...]

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If It’s a Boy, I’ll Name Him Robb

April 21, 1999

As predicted, I ate a chicken foccacia with ice cream and tobasco sauce for lunch today. I made the mistake of watching Entertainment Tonight today, and got all sorts of information I didn’t want to know, like how Pamela Anderson has gotten her breast implants removed. (If you missed it today, don’t worry – it’s [...]

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Microsoft Salvation Army Office 99

April 20, 1999

I saw Bill Gates on the news tonight demonstrating his new mouse product. (Yes, the state of commercial news broadcasts is sad when a new Microsoft product counts as headline news). I was talking with a friend on the phone this evening about how Bill Gates is saying he’s going to donate 90% of his [...]

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No Wonder I Haven’t Been Promoted Yet

April 19, 1999

When I say things like this, it’s no wonder I’m not getting any higher than my current position at work: Ms Superiority (resident office bitch): *trips over chair and goes hurtling, limbs flailing* Me: Well, I’ll give you a 9 for style. Ms Superiority (resident office bitch): *dark, evil, steaming glare* But Ms Superiority isn’t [...]

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Piss of Death

April 17, 1999

I had a really shit scary dream last night. It’s been a very long time since I had a nightmare that seriously scared me, but I had one last night. Basically, some bombers came to Melbourne and completely destroyed the place with these giant yellow rays. It suspiciously looked like urine flying everywhere. Hmm. I [...]

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When Merchandising Goes Too Far

April 16, 1999

Stupid Products That Really Exist #4052: a snowboard with this year’s AFL fixtures on it. As witnessed in Target by myself.

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It’s Snot Funny

April 15, 1999

I’m writing this entry while I am supervising another night school exam at my work (a uni). I feel like a bit of a dill, because I suspected that 2 guys down the back of the room were copying each others’ work. I’d been giving them stern looks all evening (ah, power…) I thought I’d [...]

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