From the yearly archives:

2000

The Infinite Goatee

December 5, 2000

It was probably around 1am on Saturday morning when my blood stream turned into my alcohol stream. The next morning began in a very Homer Simpson-esque manner. Due to the Jim Beam of the night before, I couldn’t seem to keep anything down. It was quite amusing, leaning into the toilet, then turning away and [...]

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Just Hello

November 29, 2000

Today’s entry is brought to you by: Finally, we’ve figured out how to beat Coke: by adding alcohol to our drinks! ***** When our group at work goes outside for a cigarette break, I usually trundle along behind them. They’re not rude enough to exclude me from the cigarette crew, but everyone knows I don’t [...]

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Moments of Universal Whinge

November 18, 2000

At first, when I was clearing the junk from on top of the fridge, it looked like marshmallow. Mmm, I thought. Marshmallow. However I did think it was a trifle strange that it was sitting in a coffee mug. I grabbed the mug to take a closer look, and peered into it. After prodding the [...]

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Bird of Rage

November 13, 2000

‘Hello? HELLO!’ the insane Italian woman rapped on our door. When we didn’t answer because we’re so scared of her, she moved on to all the other units in our building. Not one person dared answer their door. This is the insane woman who tried to enter Adam and my unit without my permission, as [...]

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Tokyo Has Gone Banana Crazy Mad!

November 7, 2000

Today’s entry is brought to you by: Just when you thought we provided every good or service known to man… you were WRONG! ***** The humidity in Sydney this time of year causes intermittent rain. Sydney’s rain in humid weather doesn’t pour down – it kinda leaks like a weeping sore. There was apparently some [...]

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Scrotie Pants

October 25, 2000

I think the VXD files on my PC are the ones with the secret networks. I can feel them plotting against me again. My computer had a slight splutter this evening and I’m a bit worried. I think the VXD files are beginning to resemble the Ku Klux Klan. In fact, there’s a lot of [...]

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Freshly Pierced and Shaven

October 20, 2000

I’ve learnt the hard way that VMM32.VXD is apparently vital if you want a Windows 98 machine to boot up. I’m not sure why I was messing around with it. I don’t specifically remember actually making a point of messing around with it in the first place, but a few days ago – it was [...]

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Lateral Potatoes

October 10, 2000

After my drunken weekend shenanigans, I decided to tell my mates at work about the Throwing Up In A Garbage Bin incident, but to modify it slightly. I decided I’d make it sound like I was genuinely sick, and that I was sick at Central train station instead of in the city itself. Big Mo: [...]

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Plane Crash in Africa

October 2, 2000

Amber: Hello, I’m Amber! Me: Hi. Amber: I’m going to be your waitress todayyyy! (trills) Big Mo: (grimacing) Ugh. Okay. Amber: I just moved up to Sydney, you know! And stuff! Me: From the USA? Amber: YEAHHHH! (giggles) Big Mo: Did you waitress over there too? Amber: Why YES! Me: Cool. Amber: I used to [...]

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When General Waste Attacks

September 27, 2000

You don’t feel cold during chilly weather if you think about it properly. The key is – think of the weather as crisp, brisk or refreshing; rather than miserable or wet. This is what I was thinking right before the garbage bin hit my head. I was walking to the train station and a garbage [...]

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