When I get up late in the morning, it usually means a trip to McDonalds for breakfast. (I still have fears of McDonalds car parks after New Year’s). I heard something funny as I was eating my meal, when one of the McEmployees served some dero who’d wandered in:
McEmployee: (in a voice far too cheery for 8am on a Monday morning) Good morniiiiiiing! What would you like todaaaaaay!
Dero: (mumbles) MmmmcBrrcon and Errg Mrrfin meal fanks.
McEmployee: Okaaaaaay! That’s $3.35. And how was your weekend?
Dero: I had the bloody best root. You should’ve seen her, mate she was hot stuff. I was banging her all night.
McEmployee: ………….
I also ran the risk of buying McOrange Juice today. I can’t drink orange juice because I get mouth ulcers from it, but I figured I’d be pretty safe with McOrange Juice. I have a theory that goes like this:
McDonalds hamburger – does not constitute real hamburger.
McDonalds “meal” – does not constitute a full meal.
Therefore – McOrange Juice – does not constitute real orange juice.
Hopefully I’ll be ok on the ulcer front. Actually, I should start drinking “fruit drinks” rather than fruit juices, the “fruit drinks” only have like 10% fruit juice in them. So in theory that means I’d only have a 10% chance of getting a mouth ulcer.
*****
I’ve noticed that the boss of my work only wears one colour of clothes. I’m not kidding – every day I’ve seen her she wears a dark shade of purple. Actually, Ms. J corrected me, apparently the colour is “plum”. So I’m wondering, what does the colour plum represent? I know that green represents nature, and yellow represents sexual deviancy (thanks for telling me that, Nih), so what does plum mean? Anybody know?
*****
Final showdown today of Geography Gladiators! I was so prepared for this argument. I had not only a list of at least 7 long country names but also the longest town name in the world as well. So what happened?
Me: Oi. Did you find a longer country name?
Ms. J: No.
Me: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Ms. J: So, I suppose you were on the internet all weekend trying to find a longer country name, right?
Me: Umm…
Ms. J: You geek. I was out on Saturday night getting pissed and having a great time… and here’s you clicking away on the net looking for a longer country name. You. Have. No. Life.
Me: Hrmmm.
I think Ms. J won that argument. Damn.
*****
I’ve mentioned in here before that the guy who sits opposite me has a jug of water on his desk, and on hot days he’s continuously pouring himself glasses of water, which makes me want to go to the toilet. Well today, he not only had his jug of water, but he also had a little portable stereo which was playing one of those new-agey nature relaxation CD’s. He had a tape of a river running, and I think I went to the toilet about 6 times today.
*****
Seeing as today was quite warm, when I got home I thought I’d take a nice cold bath, so I filled up the bath with cold water and got in. And then wished I hadn’t. Ohhh, I thought I’d gotten my private parts punished enough by getting them kicked in on New Year’s Day, but I just don’t learn…
*****
Now I PROMISE this is the last geographically-related item on this journal for now. Steve from the UK emailed this to me yesterday…
Stupid Town Names in England and Scotland:
* Bitchfield
* Slaggyford
* Six Mile Bottom
* Slack
* Nasty
* Splat
* Bell End
* Fighting Cocks
* Dyke
* Twatt (Steve’s favourite – and Scotland has two of them!)