Yay – our contracts got extended at least until May at work, although they’ve warned us that they are ‘downsizing’ a bit, and a few of us will have to go. I think I’ll be okay though.
That was really the only interesting thing that happened at work today, really. I spent most of the rest of the day watching this little crumb on Ms. J’s bottom lip. When she talked, it would switch to the top lip; when she talked again it would move back to the bottom lip. I sat there watching crumb tennis for most of the day.
*****
Today:
Ms. J: (eating yoghurt) God, I hate yoghurt.
Me: Why are you eating it then?
Ms. J: It’s got girl things in it.
Me: What do you mean?
Ms. J: It’s just got girl things in it.
Me: Um?
Ms. J: I’ve got my period.
Me: Ah.
*****
I don’t know why, but I found it incredibly funny last night when my friend Zakalwe said to me last night that his “goatee accidentally got shaved off”. How do you do that by accident? That’s like taking a sledgehammer to your head by accident, it just doesn’t happen.
*****
Have you ever heard the woman who reads the news on Triple J in the morning? (Um, not that I listen to Triple J… much). At the end of each news bulletin, she says:
Triple J Newsreader Woman: That’s all the news for now. You’re listening to… (three to five second pause)… Triple J.
She does this little pause without fail after every news bulletin. I want to know what the hell she’s doing in that three to five second pause. It’s not as if she needs to take another breath, she should have sufficient oxygen in her lungs to finish her sentence. Is she taking a bite of toast? Is she poking out her tongue in an erotic fashion at the breakfast DJ? What is the news woman doing in the three to five second pause? It’s poor journalism.
*****
Yesterday I mentioned that my boss seems only to wear purple plum coloured clothes. Nihilist emailed me yesterday:
“I’m not sure about plum, but I do know purple is the colour for sexual inadequacy and plum is close to purple.”
Mavis and Krystelle both emailed me to say they too have always been taught that purple meant sexual depravation; and Infernos emailed me to say that he’d always been taught that “purple was a sign of internal bleeding, technically known as haemorrhage”. Interesting. But today, for what I swear would be the first time, my boss wore a different colour to work – blue. But I knew if I mentioned this to Ms. J, she’d say something like “that’s not blue, that’s aquamarine” so I tried to be a smartarse before she could.
Me: Hey, look, the boss is wearing cobalt clothes today.
Ms. J: Nah, it’s just blue.
(How do people discern these slight colour differences? I give up). Um, what does the colour blue represent?
*****
Today Monowoman, who sits in the cubicle next to me, started talking to me all of a sudden:
Monowoman: My parents got a new, expensive car last night.
Me: Cool. What kinda car?
Monowoman: A Poojob.
Me: Um…. great.
(Monowoman disappears back behind her cubicle)
Me: (poking Ms. J) What the fuck is she on about?
Ms. J: A car called a Poojob? That’s your department, isn’t it?
Me: Bugger off.
Monowoman: (re-appears around cubicle wall) It’s really expensive, you know.
Me: Uhh.. what kind of car is it again?
Monowoman: A Poojob.
Me: Are you sure that’s what it’s called?
Monowoman: Um, not really. I think that’s what it’s called. I know it sounds rude, but it’s a foreign name I think.
Me: Ah.
(Monowoman disappears again)
Ms. J: I’ve figured it out.
Me: What’s she on about then?
Ms. J: I think her parents bought a Peugot.
Me: (bangs head against desk)