I’m finding on the database system we use at work, that sometimes I’ll be typing out a whole load of information and go to submit it, and it’s very easy to click on the wrong button which totally deletes everything you’ve been working on. I can spend up to 10 minutes typing up some information only to totally lose all of it. I think this is the computer version of bulimia.
I realised today, everyone in our group of cubicles has blonde hair except one guy who’s a redhead. It sorta makes sense that he’s really confident in his work and knows more about the work we do than anyone else.
*****
My boss was back to wearing plum clothes today. I mentioned in yesterday’s entry she suddenly started wearing bright blue clothes for no apparent reason, and I’m quite convinced that she’s sending out some subliminal signals. Krystelle emailed me with her theory on the blue clothes:
“According to those mood rings and mood necklaces, blue is a happy and calm colour, maybe she got some last night?”
Very, very plausible explanation. I think the reason she doesn’t wear blue a lot and the reason she wears purple constantly is that purple apparently means sexual inadequacy. She’s probably got some sort of disease. I got an email from Tara as well:
“About the “cobalt” coloured shirt and everything… well in that book “Men Come From Mars, Women Come From Venus”, there is a list of things that women can do and men can do:
* Women can see more colours than men
* Women have a greater sense of touch than men
* Women have better peripheral vision, meaning that we can see 180 degrees clearly…so that’s why men get caught perving more, hehehe
* Women have greater perception than men. So we can sense if something is wrong, that’s why we always ask “Are you OK?”
* Men can see farther than women
* Men can throw farther.
I’m going over the things that women can do better than men, and I’ve decided that Cliff Richard is a woman. He’s certainly worn a lot more colours than most men should, he’s in touch with his feminine side, and he certainly has great perception, at least in marketing anyway. Nobody can spot market niches for crappy novelty religious-type songs like Sir Richard.
*****
I’m sure many of you out there will have tasted the drink Malibu. I finally found someone who agrees with my taste/smell theory: Ms J. My drink/smell theory argues that certain smells have a direct taste equivalent. Malibu tastes so similar to the smell of coconut oil it’s eerie, yet I’m sure you’ve never tasted coconut oil. Can anyone think of any other examples of the taste/smell theory? (Besides poo? Not that I’ve ever eaten it)
*****
I think I’ve figured out Monowoman’s problem. Every time she returns from her lunch break or whenever she goes to the toilet, she returns to her desk sniffing an awful lot. I think she’s sniffing talcum powder or something in the toilets.
*****
Songs I Want To Create Hard Rock Versions Of, #291:
‘Martika’s Kitchen’ by Martika
*****
Today we found out who’s surviving the downsizing of the company I work for. They’re losing 25% of the group I work with, and they told each of us if we were continuing our employment individually in an office of team leaders. It was quite scary, you felt like you were going into a room with a firing squad. The guy who sits opposite me raised a concern:
Guy opposite me: A lot of people are going into that office, but not a whole lot are coming out.
Luckily I’m still working, but they are transferring our entire group to another department of the company. This is bad. Very bad. We get re-trained tomorrow, but as of Monday I’m going to be sitting in a new cubicle. I don’t really want to be separated from Ms. J, we work quite well as a team together. We don’t really know what we’re doing but we help each other through each other’s problems. Combined, we total the efficiency level of one whole person, so it’s in my work’s best interest to keep us together.
I don’t want to sit next to an idiot. Me and Ms. J have a theory that Monowoman may be part of the 25% that got culled today so I guess we’ll have to wait and see… but I just don’t want to get separated from Ms. J *sulks*
*****
I’ve heard a story that one of the other girls in the office scares quite easily, and people who sit around her cubicle are constantly playing little tricks on her. Today I witnessed something interesting…
Sneaky Trickster Man: (holds bubble-blower in front of Scares-Quite-Easily woman’s fan, so bubbles go flying towards her)
Scares-Quite-Easily Woman: Shriieeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
*****
Today I was arguing with Ms. J over if Chupa Chups give you puffy cheeks or not. If you’ve ever had one of the ice-cream/milky flavours of Chupa Chups (as opposed to the fruity ones), you’ll notice how they make the inside of your cheeks go all puffy. Me and Ms. J spent hours debating if this occurred or not, until I found out she has a different word for the Chupa Chups puffy cheeks syndrome: furry cheeks. It’s not as if Chupa Chups cause you to sprout ingrown hairs on the inside of your cheeks, so I believe puffy cheeks is the more technically correct term.