Last night I was having a few drinkies seeing as the weather was so hot. I normally steer clear of drinking Coke after dinner because it keeps me awake, but seeing as I was drinking bourbon (which in theory should make you tired, although it has the opposite effect on me), and Coke makes you more awake, I was wondering which of the two would work more. As it turns out it doesn’t really matter because I stayed up late talking on the phone anyway.
But as I don’t really drink Diet Coke anymore (yes, it is better in theory because it has more chemicals), I’ve never had a good look at the label. Ms. J is a bit of a Diet Coke drinker, and I noticed a difference between the Coke and Diet Coke cans. On Coke, next to the ingredients, in big scary letters it shouts “CONTAINS CAFFEINE”. The Diet Coke can doesn’t have this. It says “CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE”. Do you really want to put something called phenylalanine in your body? (It sounds even more scary when you sit down and figure out how to pronounce it).
Ms. J could pronounce this word without a problem, and when I asked her how she could do that, she told me she learnt the word from a midwife friend of hers. Apparently, if pregnant women drink enough phenylalanine it can kill their baby. Diet Coke: Giving you the right to choose. (That was a bit political, wasn’t it?)
Actually, I remember when I was working in Melbourne, I used to go to this department store for lunch that had imported soft drinks. They had Cherry Coke imported from the USA, and we all used to drink it at my old work. We thought it was great. That was until I noticed on the label it said “In laboratory testing, this product was found to cause cancer in laboratory rats”. We didn’t really want to touch it after that.
I mean, phenylalanine one day, what the hell next? I can just picture how they’ll be marketing “diet” soft drinks in 2010…
Announcer: “The secret to the mouthwatering flavour is the fusion of natural filtered water, sugar, food acid (331), vegetable gum (414), food acid (330), natural grapefruit and peach flavours, emulsifier (polysorbate 60), preservative (211), and colour (caramel)! Quench your thirst this summer with the natural choice in soft drinks.”
*****
Speaking of drinks, check this out. A Steve “Stone Cold” Austin drink bottle? Hmm. Well, I use it at work. And the ‘I’m sucking on Steve Austin’ jokes just don’t stop.
*****
Songs I Want To Create Hard Rock Versions Of, #292:
‘Drop The Boy’ by Bros
*****
The other day I realised I left work 30 minutes early by accident. I think I was just a bit eager to get to the beach and have a swim in this hot weather. I didn’t really want to tell my team leader I’d done this by mistake though, as she was in the process of deciding who was going to get fired as part of the downsizing of the workgroup I’m in. I really took my time telling her and made sure she only knew after I found out I was definitely being kept on as an employee.
*****
I booked a flight on Qantas today, to go to Sydney for a weekend. On this phone call they gave me a booking reference which was PQI-AM (I left out one letter so you can’t screw round with my reservation – piss off, stalkers). You know how when people read out letters over the phone they say things like “Now, that’s A for apple, S for Sam, V for Victor…” etc? I reckon Qantas must have their own set of words they’ve been told to say.
When the lady who took my order read out my booking reference, she said “Now, that’s P for plane; Q for Qantas; I for International; A for Airline; and M for Metal Detector”. I can’t believe someone sat down and thought of an airline-related word for each letter of the alphabet. If I had her job I’d be reading out something like this:
Ways I Would Personally Read Out Qantas Booking References:
* A for Air Sickness Bag
* B for Baggage Lost En Route
* D for Delays
* E for Edgy Metal Detector Staff
* F for Flight sickness
* G for G-Force
* H for Hijack
* I for Illegal Substances Hidden In Body Orifices
* L for Lost Baggage
* O for Oxygen Mask
* R for Ransom Demands
* T for Turbulence