Once again, the power got cut off in Torquay this evening for around two hours. I was tempted to drive down to the supermarket to see if there would be another riot (see January 16th entry) because I was so deprived of entertainment, but I controlled the urges.
The company that handles electricity in the Geelong region (which Torquay is a part of) is called Powercor, and I found out off my mum that they actually have a special service faults phone number you can call when there’s a blackout. I decided to give this a call – basically I got told what regions the blackout was effecting, and they even give you a time when the power will go back on (in this case, 7pm). I thought this would just be some sort of rough estimation, but at 7pm on the dot the power was restored. It’s almost as if the whole thing was planned. They should add times when they plan to cut the power off to that service faults phone number if they think they’re so bloody accurate.
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I wore a skinny tie to work today and copped so much shit for it (“Eighties boy! Eighties boy!”) it wasn’t funny. Off to the Salvation Army bin it goes.
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The Big Day Out is on Sunday, can’t wait. I’m going with some friends, but it’s looking like we’ll probably end up separated most of the day due to differing musical tastes. Personally, I’m really looking forward to sampling $7.50 cans of Beam & Coke again, and experiencing the alcoholic experience we all look forward to at a music festival: beer in plastic bottles.
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My friend Alli told me a few years ago about this great game she used to play to piss off people she was watching TV with, and I just remembered about it tonight when I was watching some crap “bloopers” show on Channel 7. (Hey, I mentioned Channel 7 without making a joke – that’s pretty good!) I thought it’d be pretty good to piss off my sister so I thought I’d give it another shot.
To play the game you have to watch a crap American comedy show with a laugh track. Whenever the laugh track cranks up and the audience on the TV show goes into riotous laughter, you simply start laughing so hard you sound like you’re going to crap yourself. So now I just wait until my sister starts watching some bland generic sitcom…
Character on crap sitcom: Well, whateverrrrr!
Me: BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! (slapping my sides)
My sister: (evil, dark steaming glare)
Character on crap sitcom: So then I said, well, hellooooo!
Me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BWAHHAHAHHAHAHHA… oh dear.. (wipes tear from eye) ahhahahahah…
My sister: (walks out of room)
Me: (changes channel)
I’d love to be a member of the studio audience for Australia’s Funniest Home Videos. That’s so obviously dubbed over, the audience on that show will laugh their nuts off at anything. I’d just wait until that host bimbo woman started introducing one of the segments with one of her ‘jokes’:
Funniest Home Videos bimbo woman: So now we’ve got a lot of videos coming up featuring dogs. Well… I’ll be DOGgone.
Me: (sole person laughing in audience) BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA!
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My parents went to Phillip Island over the New Year’s holiday period, and they had a leaflet for one of the attractions they went to sitting on the table in our living room. The leaflet was for ‘seal watching cruises’, but I thought at first glance it said ‘seal catching cruises’. Personally, I’d pay good money for that, but… oh, don’t even think of sending me email about this
Speaking of my parents, they went to a CPR course last night. What personally alarmed me is that they had their certificates all printed up before they’d even passed the course. If one of you somehow didn’t pass the course, all you’d have to do would be to run up to the table where all the certificates were and nab yours, then run out of the joint. You may be on the run from the Adult Education police, but at least you can pretend you know CPR.
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Every morning when I go to put a pair of pants on for work, I usually go to put on a pair of navy pants. For some reason these navy pants turn out to be green pants by the time I get to work. Ms. J always laughs at me because I swear I’m going to wear navy pants instead of green ones, so this morning when I woke up I studied the pants I was going to wear quite carefully, to make 100% sure they were navy. I was so bloody positive they were navy, and I got there and Ms. J pissed herself because I’d worn dark green ones again. I wonder if I even have a pair of navy pants.
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Jeb Official Bad Things: Fake tan
Do you really want to look like an orange zebra?
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You know those older style parking meters? Not the digital ones where they have a little computer screen, but the old ones where you put the money in and the dial goes round making a ‘zzzzzzt’ noise. I reckon that ‘zzzzzt’ noise sounds like a chipmunk having an orgasm.