A while ago I had some problems with my tonsils. (Maybe ‘problems’ is too light a word considering my tonsils got so big I started choking on them and had to get an ambulance). Well, I woke up today and they’re starting to flare up. I really have to get these buggers yanked out of my throat some time soon. My doctor always says I have the biggest tonsils he’s ever seen… is this sexual harassment?
*****
My sister’s bought some Up & Go. I think this so-called breakfast drink is dodgy, I’ve only tasted it once, a long time ago; and I thought it tasted like mushy cereal. I had a look in the ingredients today, and it appears that it actually is mushy cereal! Up & Go, eh? Certainly lives up to its name – one taste of that crap and I’m definitely up and gone.
I just checked Sanitarium’s website to see if they have a page on Up & Go. They certainly do, and sadly enough the title of the page is ‘THE FUTURE OF BREAKFAST HAS ARRIVED’. I think not. Would you really want to taste something that’s marketed as ‘liquid breakfast’?
I think the only decent thing Sanitarium Foods (who manufacture Up & Go) have been able to make is Weetbix. Oh, and their peanut butter is nice too. Then again, they went all weird with those Weetbix spinoffs, didn’t they? Who can forget Weetbix-Lite, or Fruity-Bix… It reminds me of when decent bands record a song, and then some record company idiot decides they need a dance remix to crack the mainstream market. Fruity-Bix is the crap dance remix of Weetbix.
*****
I just realised. I had today off because of my tonsillitis maximus, but today was supposed to be the last day of myself, Ms. J and The Rock all sitting together in the same cubicle. The two girls are getting transferred to a different department as of Monday, and I’m not sure if I’ll be sitting by myself or I’ll get moved into a cubicle with some other people. I hope I don’t get stuck with idiots – I just want someone I can stuff around with and throw stationary at without fear of harassment charges.
It’s difficult to describe the relationship between myself, Ms. J and The Rock. I guess the best way to describe it, is that us three combined total the efficiency of one person. That’s why we’ve got this big sign in our cubicle that says “Three = One”.
*****
Hey – I got another message on my phone for Jack from Sydney! This hasn’t happened for a while. Basically, there’s some guy named Jack and I keep getting messages on my phone for him. This time someone had left him a message regarding some camera filters he’d enquired about, and that they’d be shipped with your next order. I’ve already sussed out that you’re unfaithful to your wife from previous phone messages, Jack, but geez, taking photos of the woman you’re doing on the sly will get you caught for sure.
*****
This evening:
Me: What’s for tea?
My mum: Hamburger type things.
Me: Hamburger what what?
My mum: Ummmm, hamburgers.
Me: No, what did you say?
My mum: We’re having hamburger things for dinner.
Me: Hamburger things? That means vegieburger doesn’t it?
My mum: (sigh) Yes.
*****
If you’ve ever been to a karaoke night at a pub, inevitably some fat bloke will stand up on the stage and belt out a bad eighties Madonna song. I see that Madonna’s now taking her revenge on the world by doing some karaoke of her own, and releasing ‘American Pie’ as a single.