From the monthly archives:

March 2000

Menstruation Cafe, and Other Things That are Wrong With Sydney

March 29, 2000

Here I am, in Sydney. I haven’t updated my journal for about a week or so because I’ve been moving up here, so I’ll go over the past week. (This may be my longest journal entry yet – it’s the journal equivalent of when you get constipation for ages, and then you finally… er… you [...]

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Life? Well It’s Like a Bicycle (You Get On and Go Round and Round and Round a Bit, and Then You Fall Off)

March 16, 2000

Well, it’s St Patrick’s Day tomorrow. Ms. J and The Rock wanted a big group of us to go straight to an Irish pub tomorrow night after work, which on reflection is seeming like a potential bad decision. Think about it. St Patrick’s Day. Where do people go? Irish pubs. Hopefully I’ll at least be [...]

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The Magic Boxer Shorts

March 15, 2000

It’s St. Patrick’s Day on Friday. I’m sure there is some sort of meaning behind St. Patrick’s Day, but as far as I’m concerned I’m happy to support any event that primarily revolves around drinking. A group of people from work and myself are going out on Friday for a goodbye party thing for myself, [...]

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The Myth of Wez

March 13, 2000

There’s nothing better than having arguments in chatrooms with people. The other night I was arguing with this strange character known as ScientologyBoy (age 18). Now, I’ve got nothing against (most) religions, as long as they don’t push their beliefs on me. I think religious beliefs are like genitals – you should only show them [...]

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“Because I’m Bad, I’m Bad, I Play Bingo, I’m Bad…”

March 11, 2000

I think I outdid myself yesterday at work. I reached into my backpack to get a pen, and stuck it behind my ear. Well, I was about to stick it behind my ear, when I realised I’d pulled out a toothbrush instead of a pen. I don’t even know what the hell a toothbrush was [...]

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Did You Also Get the Betamax Injection?

March 10, 2000

There’s only a week left until I finish my current job. One of the girls who sits in my cubicle pod at work wanted to organise for us all to go to the pub next Friday for a farewell piss-up, but everyone’s lunches are on at different times. So now one of the women are [...]

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I Will Have a Half Bint, Thanks

March 9, 2000

I was on my way to work yesterday morning, driving up the highway, when suddenly the traffic slowed to a 30 kph crawl, in a 70 zone. It seemed everyone was craning their necks out of their car windows at something on the left side of the highway.
Then it dawned on me. The Torquay McDonalds [...]

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No Transsexual Prostitutes? I Refuse to Watch!

March 7, 2000

I spent the weekend in Sydney with Adam… only a few weeks to go until I move up there for good.
Saturday morning:
Waiter at a hotel I was at: So, are you going to the Mardi Gras tonight?
Me: No.
Sunday morning:
Shop assistant: Did you go to the Mardi Gras last night?
Me: NO!
Monday morning:
Ms. J: Did you go [...]

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It Has More Chemicals – Yum!

March 3, 2000

Today a workmate of mine sat on a donut.
Workmate: Oh my God – I just sat on a donut!
Me: Who cares about you? Imagine how the poor donut’s feeling.
Are you thinking of trying one of those Cheesy Crust Pizzas? Well, if you think that you’d like to eat something that tastes like a giant version [...]

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I’d Shoot Myself if My Banana Went Black, Too

March 3, 2000

Yes, I got a haircut. Anyone who makes comments like ‘Vanilla Ice lives!’ in the guestbook will get beaten up.
The new Torquay McDonalds opens next week. It’s going to be such a laugh, half of Torquay is for it and half is against it, so there’s going to be demonstrations and everything out the front [...]

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