From the yearly archives:

2000

The Coming Out Game™

September 22, 2000

A while back, our mate Cam came out as a gay guy to four people within 24 hours. Thus, The Coming Out Game was incepted.
Not to be outdone, I succesfully came out to five people within 24 hours. You get double points for a bad reaction, and I got a reaction that was mildly offputting, [...]

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My Life Without Handball

September 19, 2000

Listen very carefully!
Do you hear that faint, muffled, whimpering sound?
It’s poor old Tina Arena. See, she thought she could resurrect her career with this whole Opening Ceremony thing, but no. Sorry, Tina. Not even the Japanese bought it this time. The images of you jumping around in a bosomy dress shouting ‘I Want Your Body’ [...]

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Welcome to Horse Crap City

September 17, 2000

The Sydney public transport system seems to be surviving the Olympics fine. I guess Sydney residents were secretly hoping things would majorly stuff up, and then the world would see how bad our train system is – thus forcing the government to upgrade it sufficiently. However, there is a reason why things are running well.
Sydney [...]

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Small Talker

September 11, 2000

I still don’t bloody know if I’ve got my job or not yet. I was promised by the job agency that they would let me know last week, and ‘if they hadn’t called by end of Friday, ring us back’. I rang on Friday afternoon only to be told that the guy handling my application [...]

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Hello, I have crabs. Hire me!

September 6, 2000

If I don’t get this job, I’m kinda screwed. I haven’t even been told that I have the job, but I’m walking around like I already do.
Well… there WAS only one other person interviewed for the job, after all. Also, the guy at the recruitment agency said it’s looking ‘very, very positive’ for me. Unfortunately, [...]

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Team Blonding Session

September 1, 2000

Me (on phone to my mum): It’s exactly the friggin’ same!
My mum: No it’s not! Sport is stronger!
Me: Why WOULDN’T they make them all the same strength?
My mum: I don’t know. It’s their marketing!
Me: Oh, look. I’m walking into the bathroom right now. I’m checking my deodorant.
My mum: It won’t even say. Look, sport deodorant [...]

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Sarcastic Cappucino

August 29, 2000

I had a big job interview this morning. When I found out who the company was, I wanted the job even more. I felt like I was getting quite good at this job interview thing. I even know how to handle that ‘So what would you describe as your weaknesses?’ question. Even when I had [...]

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Some Sort of Dodgy Fish Metaphor

August 28, 2000

The last thing I ever heard the DJ Accountant say was ‘BLSSSSSSHHHH’, the last thing I ever heard Know-It-All-Paul say was ‘VIRUSES!’, and the last thing I ever heard Parappa the Rapper say was ‘I wish I could rip his spine out and use it as a weapon’.
It was my last day at work on [...]

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When I Grow Up, I Want to be an Arsehole

August 26, 2000

Wanted: a job. Preferably in a creative role and not working with salespeople (they’re idiots) or network technicians (there’s only so many Unix in-jokes I can handle). Will perform fantastic head in exchange for higher wage. Even if you’re female.
Well… that’s how I felt at the start of the week. I finished my current position [...]

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BEDLAM!

August 17, 2000

I have this thing for goatees.
I find ugly men suddenly turn incredibly good looking with a goatee. Even that doctored picture that was floating around the net a few years ago of the Spice Girls with goatees was remotely attractive.
Jack from Dispatch at my work (remember? he has a head shaped like a dildo) has [...]

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