Scene: Newtown, home of dodgy pubs and many restaraunts; earlier this month
Adam: I am hungry.
Me: So am I.
Rick: Let’s find somewhere to eat.
Adam: Okay.
(we walk for five minutes)
Rick: Oh, Indian. That looks nice.
Me: Indian sounds great.
Adam: Didn’t I tell you about my rule?
Me: What?
Adam: I don’t go out to Indian restaraunts.
Me: Why?
Adam: Are you questioning me?
Me: I’m just wondering.
Rick: (awkwardly dawdles, tries to distance himself from us)
Me: Look, look, let’s just go somewhere else.
Adam: Fine.
(more walking)
Rick: What’s wrong with Indian?
Adam: (eyes round) WHAT’S WRONG WITH INDIAN??
Me: Don’t push it, Rick.
Rick: Is there anything else I should know about?
Adam: No, just Indian.
Me: Good.
(more walking)
Me: Hey, this looks good. Chinese.
Rick: Mmmm.
Adam: Yes, I think I can do Chinese.
Me: Oh, but it’s shut.
Adam: I think they had Indian food on the menu.
Me: Why would they put Chinese food on an Indian restaraunt menu?
Adam: They might have.
Me: Why?
Adam: THEY MIGHT HAVE!
Rick: Um… how about Italian?
Adam: ITALIAN?!
(more walking)
Rick: Hey, this place looks good (points to Indian restaraunt).
Me: (eyes widen)
Adam: Yeah, it looks alright.
Me: WHAT?!
Adam: Eh?
Me: What happened to the rule?
Adam: Oh, but this place looks alright.
Me: It’s no fucking different to every other Indian restaraunt we walked past!
Rick: Nah, look at the menu. I don’t think it is Indian.
Me: Hmm.
(we study the menu outside the restaraunt)
Rick: Is this a vegetarian restaraunt or something?
Me: I’m not sure.
Adam: I don’t think this is Indian.
Me: So can we eat here?
Adam: I’m not sure yet.
Me: Christ.
Rick: What the hell is this place?
Me: It looks like an Indian Sizzler.
Adam: I’m not sure what it is.
Me: At least, it looked kind of Indian, until I saw the pasta over there.
Rick: Hmmm.
(we take a look inside)
Rick: Heh. That guy looks like the singer from The Wiggles.
Adam and myself: (glance at each other)
Me: Um. The Wiggles?
Rick: I thought the singer of The Wiggles was kind of cute.
Adam: Ha ha ha!
Me: Rick wants a Wiggle!
Adam: I bloody bet he does!
Me: Ha ha ha!
Rick: Hmmm.
Adam: Uh…
Me: Yes.
Adam: Er… so what is this place?
Me: The Wiggles singer doesn’t look Indian nor Italian.
(five minutes pass)
Me: Fuck this, let’s get a kebab.
Adam and Rick: Okay.