From the monthly archives:

June 2001

Pot Luck

June 27, 2001

Daily proceedings are sliding into the familiar drudging monotonies I find myself in whilst unemployed. Although I’m not officially let go until tomorrow, there’s already a feeling of slight helplessness.
Quitting a job used to be cause for a holiday. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve actually been let go at more jobs than [...]

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The Anime Channel Presents: A Weather Update

June 26, 2001

(Fourteen year old girl in school uniform crashes through roof and hollers a battlecry as rubble rains down around her)
GIRL: Welcome to Super Weather Update, OK!!
(Girl makes a X-symbol by crossing her arms across her chest, screaming something about ‘Super-Mech-GO’ and begins violently vibrating. A weathermap explodes through the wall behind her)
GIRL: Engage FORECAST POWER!
(Miniscule [...]

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My New Career Direction

June 24, 2001

Just a single week left at my current job before the department I work with is turfed out into the cruelly anorexic employment market, but at least our employer is nudging us along to our next job with a little help.
The company we work for has arranged for us all to attend Resume and Job [...]

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What Happened to My All-Powerful Inhalation?

June 17, 2001

Something’s really wrong with my nasal passages.
My nose has never caused me too much grief. It performs its required functions sufficiently, even remained pimple-free during my most oily of puberty years – hell, it’s even acrobatic. I can perform synchronised flaring to any decent industrial metal track.
But something’s gone amiss since around March. My nasal [...]

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The Breakneck World of Agricultural Insurance

June 16, 2001

With an enormous dollop of assistance from the information extravaganza that is Leah’s resumé, I’ve transformed my own scatterbrained attempt at a curriculum vitae into something a little more presentable.
Being laid off by a dot com is now becoming something I’m getting quite professional at. I’ve got work at my current job until the end [...]

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Vagrant’s To-Do List

June 16, 2001

• Wake underneath bridge. Don tracksuit pants, ensuring minimum two inches of butt cleavage is visible.
• Navigate to major train station. Lie on pavement and pretend you’re just waking up. Yell at small children.
• Rant and rave about the Bible today? Nah, did that last two days.
• Open dictionary up to random page. Select random [...]

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Public Transport Romance

June 11, 2001

Enduring the daily commute to work via train sometimes has its unusual perks. Note that such events as haggard homeless men vomiting and sly-looking skinny men with hollowed-out eyes eyeing you up and down no longer register as interesting incidents after your fifth train trip in Sydney.
During a particularly packed train commute which required most [...]

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We Are Feeling Neglected – By the Gladiators Atlaspheres

June 11, 2001

We are a dying breed. We were the stars. We were the mighty.
Once integral stars of the gargantuan spectacular that was Gladiators, we are now slowly but surely being forced into extinction. Oh, you can tell us that Atlaspheres are no longer required in the entertainment industry, but we know better. We are surely [...]

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Introducing the 1st Annual ZGeek vs. World Wide Jeb Celebrity Harassment Challenge

June 8, 2001

I work with two of the guys who run ZGeek, and it seems Pirate has received an interesting email from Fred Nile.
While I think this is damn funny, I’m secretly jealous. Well… incredibly jealous.
See, I think I’m far more deserving of an angry email from Australia’s favourite wacky Crazy-Christ homophobe. My gay gland is far [...]

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I Haven’t Slaughtered Anyone Since March

June 3, 2001

Since March I have experienced a unique freedom and liberation. So many of us are trapped in a prison we fail to notice. It was only after I rid myself of the offending item in question that I fully understood my self-imposed imprisonment.
You should sell your car too. Only in your post-automobile euphoria will you [...]

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