(Fourteen year old girl in school uniform crashes through roof and hollers a battlecry as rubble rains down around her)
GIRL: Welcome to Super Weather Update, OK!!
(Girl makes a X-symbol by crossing her arms across her chest, screaming something about ‘Super-Mech-GO’ and begins violently vibrating. A weathermap explodes through the wall behind her)
GIRL: Engage FORECAST POWER!
(Miniscule radar device bores its way from the girl’s neck, raises itself over head in a snake-like fashion and bores holes in various positions on the map. Girl suddenly places hands on cheeks)
GIRL: Aaaargh! Tornado death machine is GO!
(Girl produces gun twice her own body weight from pocket, and turns her attention to her wristwatch, which appears to be some sort of telephony device)
GIRL: Backup power NOW! Disengage tornado death, happy happy sunshine!
(Girl suddenly goes crosseyed and her left pupil enormously dilates, unannounced. Enormous Godzilla-type monster crushes a cameraman as it tramples into the studio and swipes haphazardly at the weathermap)
GIRL: (Producing lollypop and sucking on it enthusiastically) YAYYY!
(Godzilla creature howls and flees the scene. The girl’s eyes glow red and she laughs maniacally)
GIRL: Stay tuned, next time – SUPER WEATHER UPDATE, OK!!
(An enormous vacuum appears from stage left and sucks the girl’s school uniform away, leaving her standing in only her underwear)
GIRL: Oops! (tittering giggle)
(Fade out to circular logo featuring the girl winking and signalling her satisfaction with the weather report by giving a thumbs up signal)
(Originally published at uber.nu)