From the monthly archives:

July 2001

Stealing Coffee

July 31, 2001

Crushing my irrational fear of ordering coffee-based beverages is something which annually rolls over in my new year’s resolutions. Couldn’t be fucked this year, let’s try it next year.
But invariably, I’m left gaping at any urban cafe’s chalkboard at the sheer anxiety-enducing choices in front of me. Whatever happened to simply ordering coffee? Unfortunately, to [...]

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Your Bush Looks Expensive

July 29, 2001

When Adam and I relocated from Sydney’s finest central point of gravitation for AC/DC fans to an apartment near the city, we entered that enjoyable stage of relationships when a couple moves into a new abode together. No longer is it your boyfriend’s place – now you can both feel as though you have equal [...]

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A List of My Favourite Machine Head Lyrics Which I Like to Interpret as Invitations for Sexual Intercourse From Their Singer, Robert Flynn

July 23, 2001

‘Force fed to love it/And now I swallow whole’ – Davidian
‘Suck my power empty’ – Old
‘You want some shit?/I’ll fuckin’ pound you, son’ – A Thousand Lies
‘I gotta vent or I blow inside’ – A Thousand Lies
‘You’re gonna die grovelling on your knees’ – Death Church
‘It hardens me, the things I see’ – A Nation [...]

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Tits

July 18, 2001

What an interesting turn of events. Yesterday as I was sulking at my desk, only ten days into my newest dot com job, a job agency I’d been dealing with in my recent search for work persistently called my mobile phone over the course of the day.
Escaping for my lunch break and clamping a hand [...]

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Get Your Hands off My Goncalves

July 16, 2001

So as it turns out, my fourth job in Sydney ends up being another dot com job, contrary to what I was expecting. I don’t think I’ll get laid off again any time soon, but if I do I’m off dot com jobs for good.
An interview for this job was organised almost by accident. In [...]

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Everybody Needs Good Neighbours (Especially if you Live in Surry Hills)

July 8, 2001

As I plunge out of the supermarket, squeezing myself free of the cashier’s desperate grasp on my due change and attempting to re-orientate myself after the relentlessly harsh stoner-deterring lighting, I’m immediately accosted by a salesman. Such an occurrence is to be expected in the delightfully quaint world of Surry Hills Shopping Village, location of [...]

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If You Can’t Handle the Ugliness, Get Out of the Kitchen

July 1, 2001

Relief, pleasurable moaning, escape, release and evacuation. All phrases closely associated with not only finishing a job that in its final month required me to complete tasks rarely more challenging than burrowing feverishly through filing; but also attributable to feelings experienced shortly after desperately gulping down two Imodium tablets. All praise anti-dihorrea medication, eh?
There’s no [...]

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