From the monthly archives:

September 2001

The Snip Show

September 27, 2001

I’m convinced I’ve discovered the next Big Thing in TV. This is post-reality TV. I present: The Snip Show.
I admit, I’m borrowing a little from the talk show format here. But I ask you: when was the last time you had a genuinely intellectually stimulating conversation? One you enjoyed, debated with passion, began talking with [...]

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My Career Has Been Sorted

September 24, 2001

Peering over the frosted glass encapsulating myself and three arrogantly rigid wooden chairs, I survey the local area. Tens of quivering temps clutching anxiously at their resumes are sitting, waiting, fearing their vocational destiny just as I am.
The employment agency I’m visiting this morning has become my favourite. They’re quite professionally run and got me [...]

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How Giant Balls Relate to Team Building

September 18, 2001

‘Okay everyone,’ one of the women in the office cried out, unannounced. ‘We’re going to do some team building exercises this afternoon.’
My eyes widened with horror. This would surely be no better than my experiences with employment-related teamwork games, which invariably end up as controlled shouting matches.
‘I don’t really need to take part, do I?’ [...]

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Stasis Areas of Office Buildings

September 16, 2001

Of recent years, frequenting department stores such as Myer, David Jones and Grace Bros. was a simple affair. You could stroll around at ease between the various departments and marvel at how the lack of staff competence decreased increasingly as you visited higher floors. (By the time you reach furniture on the top level, the [...]

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I Can Say No

September 9, 2001

Dear Snack Brands Australia,
The packaging of your ‘CC’s Corn Chips’ continues to horrify me. In what can only be described as shades of communism, you continue to demand – nay, threaten! – consumption of your products or face an unknown sinister fate.
Ominous threats such as ‘You can’t say NO!’ were perhaps, in communist Russia, a [...]

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Flattering Abuse

September 4, 2001

‘Sushi or pizza?’ I demanded of Adam, as we retraced our steps back home after a visit to the liquor store.
‘Yes,’ hiccuped Adam.
‘No,’ I patiently explained. ‘Which one?’
‘Sushipizza,’ he slurred.
‘Look, we’re closer to the Pizza Hut store.. Let’s just go there,’ I directed, as we ambled towards the small takeaway outlet.
Crashing through the doorway and [...]

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