From the monthly archives:

February 2003

Artistically Abstract

February 27, 2003

One of my bigger fears in life is that my burgeoning, youthful breasts could soon develop self-supporting breasts of their own. As a measure against this possibility, Adam and I joined the local gym a few months ago. I’d never even stepped into a gym before let alone worked out in one, so I was [...]

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“I’m Jerk-ing Off to E-mo-tions” (sung to trill escalation of four octaves)

February 23, 2003

When you’re fifteen and growing up in a surf resort-esque town, it’s uneasy to shake the belief that you’re the sole homo in the world, if not the feeling that you’re the only homo who doesn’t slot politely into a pastel-pink stereotype placeholder. Fortunately, grunge was the big thing at the time, so self-loathing was [...]

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Enid

February 22, 2003

I think I want to be the heavy metal version of Enid from Ghost World.

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Zed

February 11, 2003

… just started a live session of ‘Renegade Fighter’ on Channel V by holding up a mobile phone to the mic, and playing the ringtone version of the song as the intro. TERRIBLE!

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Metal Baby

February 11, 2003

The girl I sit next to at work is pregnant… she’s due in 10 weeks I think. Her and her boyfriend are both into metal, so I’ve convinced her to make the kid a metal baby. So we’re going to make some transfers of metal band logos onto little baby t-shirts. I told her to [...]

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The Fabulon Adventures of Adam

February 2, 2003

It was among the cacophany of a bar with a poorly-defined target market that Adam reached out for his beer. Our mate Jack noted a large burn on Adam’s arm with interest as he made this motion. ‘What happened there?’ he prodded the limb in question. After the screaming ceased and the roof of the [...]

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