From the monthly archives:

March 2005

The Apprentugilist

March 31, 2005

Easter was spent in Melbourne, where I promptly decided to slip into Pimp Mode and strut around Crown Casino like I owned the place. I’ve got a real soft spot for blackjack, mostly because I’m incredibly fucking good at the game – taught myself how to card count and all. So after anguishing over blackjack [...]

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I’m Unaware of the Social Etiquette For…

March 17, 2005

1: Busker/Walkman Encounters. Whenever I’m wandering absently around the city, or on my way to or from work, it’s almost always to a soundtrack from my MP3 player. Usually this involves zooming my way through a city train station tunnel – the kind almost guaranteed to be inhabitated by buskers. Herein lies my dilemma. I’ll [...]

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Tonight’s Perve Viewing

March 17, 2005

1. The NRL Footy Show, to see the Chief. But Chief! WTF have you done to your hair since I last saw you three years ago! Back to the spikes or cap please! 2. Country Music Australia Channel. I’m no fan of country music, but tonight realised that most male country singers = teh hot. [...]

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Lowest Airfares Creepily Guaranteed

March 14, 2005

While my athletic endurance is building up to a level worthy of the enthusiasm of the Flight Centre captain, my muscular strength remains low. In my dodgy neighbourhood, this means I can likely succesfully integrate myself into the civic consumer-entrepeneurial economic microredistribution of wealth (ie nicking handbags and doing a runner), before working my way [...]

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Woolloomoobroom

March 8, 2005

We live in Woolloomooloo, a city suburb which strives to maintain a glossy sheen of yuprosexual, waterfront, Russell-Crowe-is-our-neighbour style. Scratch beneath the thin surface, though, and you’re presented with what Woolloomooloo has been all along – a fairly seedy (although quiet) suburb which isn’t necessarily that safe at night. We literally have a bad side [...]

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Bom bom BOM BOM!

March 8, 2005

Oh my God, I just remembered the sound RealPlayer used to make when you fired it up. Holy scrota, was that the happiest fucking sound in the world or what?!

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More Cable Vitriol

March 5, 2005

What else has been happening? A few days ago, in an infuriated work moment, I vowed to my workmate Henry that something my boss did made me so angry, I could eat a vagina. PS, that’s unreasonably angry. Following on from my last angry post about Foxtel, have you tried watching the ACC channel (I [...]

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Blind Facts

March 2, 2005

At birth, I was rendered 90% blind in my right eye by a nasty cataract. This has lead to all sorts of minor irritations during my life, but never has been a point of major concern. In some ways, it complements my laziness: I only have to rub one lenses of my sunglasses to clean [...]

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How to Make Gym Classes Gayer Than They Already Are

March 2, 2005

I’ve been cautious and wary of my gym’s exercise classes. I’ve only been punishing myself at the gym for three months, but have strictly avoided organised classes and their associated motivational shouty instructors. That, and the fact that it probably involves submitting myself to trance music. Yet a class would break up my exercise routine [...]

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