From the monthly archives:

April 2005

At the Movies

April 27, 2005

I’m sick of slowly nodding and sliding into a sly, uneasy, knowing grin whenever someone mentions that something’s “just like that scene in (wildly acclaimed cinematic classic)!” So here we go: I’m not a movie person. I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies. I’ve seen the Star Wars movies once each (and apparently traversed [...]

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Heart-Shaped Box

April 25, 2005

Biscuits, chips, lollies… these are all contraband in our currently fitness-focused home. What this really means is that I occasionally sneak in a bag of chips at work, or smuggle a box of Shapes into the borderline of our house when Adam’s out. Of course, truth be told, I’ll invariably get busted: if I’ve been [...]

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Depplorable

April 21, 2005

Occasionally I catch a train from Newtown to work. Newtown’s a happy, ragtag jumble of uni students, goths, ferals, women who rediscover or redefine their sexuality on a biweekly basis and can’t help but monotonously explain this in great detail to everyone near them, Lifestyle Channel obsessives and homos. It’s one of the few inner [...]

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Malad

April 16, 2005

Over many liquid refreshments last night, a friend of mine was recalling a tale of some mutual friends who visited the States some time ago. It seems that our North American friends truly are fans of immortalising regular, healthy food into shiny, golden greaseballs of any sort. So much so, in fact, that our friends [...]

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Lemony Whore

April 15, 2005

Why are whores in songs always dirty – why can’t singers pen lines like “I met a whore, she was kind of clean and nice”?

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I Applaud Your Errors!

April 10, 2005

Occasionally, Foxtel will unlock some of their channels – usually the movie channels – as a special promotion over a weekend. Since last night, we noticed that the movie channels are currently free to view (we don’t normally subscribe to them). The odd thing was, I couldn’t find any scrap of information about a Foxtel [...]

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Lust for Lost

April 8, 2005

I’ve been downloading episodes of Lost as they’re screened in America, which is resulting in any conversation about the show with my mates going something like: Jeb: You HAVE to see this week’s episode of Lost. Locke goes out int- Friend: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SPOILING HOMO! There’s nobody else I know who is [...]

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Vendor Bender

April 8, 2005

Look, as much as I may gripe about work and the shoddy vendors we deal with; the beauty of shoddy vendors is their shoddy methods of doing business. There’s one new vendor who I often need to phone to escalate customer complaints, so he can resolve any product complaints directly with customers. The problem is [...]

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