I’m sick of slowly nodding and sliding into a sly, uneasy, knowing grin whenever someone mentions that something’s “just like that scene in (wildly acclaimed cinematic classic)!”
So here we go: I’m not a movie person.
I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies. I’ve seen the Star Wars movies once each (and apparently traversed some thin threshold which, for men of my age, is rarely conquered: I displayed vast apathy for the entire saga at large). I’ve never once glimpsed Taxi Driver, Scarface, Citizen Kane, or, ummm… Bambi.
Don’t confuse this with ignorance. I’m simply just not a movie person. Every week, I’ll check what movies are showing, but I’m rarely moved to make a special trip to see a flick.
I’m just not passionate about movies. The Latin term for this condition, apparently, is antipomeranz.
My concern is that this regresses me to some sort of bore. Honestly, I think I more than make up for it with my enthusiasm about bands, but that’s where I begin to grow worried: there’s nothing I can tolerate less than someone who, when quizzed about their preferred genres of music, mutter: “Oh, you know. Everything”. (These people, coincidentally, are almost always triatheletes. Think about it. Ever met a triathelete who didn’t make you want to scream like Jeannie Little out of sheer urban horror?) What if I’m just like these folk, except with movies?
Initially, I was going to plead with you all to recommend an Instant Movie Nerd list. But, honestly, fuck that. My only real free TV time is on the weekends, and that’s when the footy’s on. Oh, and 5.30pm weekdays, but that’s reserved for my Deal or No Deal hypnotic state of gameshow fantacism (seriously, I don’t even remember what happens in my life between 5.30pm and 6.00pm each weeknight).
So remain ignorant of movies I shall remain (note: not a Yoda quote). Everyone has their own little quirks, and this is one of mine, just alongside my unexplainable attraction to the general manager of Big W (causes an escalator jam every time when I’m stuck staring skyward at his beaming face above the entrance to the store, and don’t get off the escalator in time due to my distraction).
And look! It’s Deal or No Deal o’clock right now. Hoorah!