Adam and I, in an attempt to proactively eliminate any drunken pizza orders, have lately been ensuring that we have frozen pizza and frozen garlic bread on hand at all times. Those Pizza Hut bills sure do add up (even if you try that hack on their site which gives you super cheap meal deals – not that I’m endorsing selecting an “internet meal deal”, then removing one of the pizzas right before you submit your order, resulting in a $11.00 pizza and garlic bread home delivered. Doing that would just be… nasty).
However, our safety-garlic-bread has ensured that I may never actually inhale garlic bread while smashed ever again. I’d quite frankly rather masturbate with a cheese grater to those Lucky Grills impotence radio ads, before I eat another piece of garlic bread.
Why’s this, you confusedly ask? Well, it seems that you’ve never prepared a frozen garlic bread before, you… skinny bast. See, this particular garlic bread was prepared flat on a tray, with frozen garlic butter slathered on top, ready to melt in the oven.
The problem was that the garlic butter was wobbling and towering over the bread like a full serve of jelly, somewhat dwarfing the minimal presence of bread (if it was there at all). Seriously, it was thicker than Mercedes Corby’s gumline. So that’s rather put me off any dealings with garlic bread in the future, to be honest.