A Warning to Schweppes
August 7, 2005
Just when I’m happily taking my time on a leisurely, ambling Sunday afternoon walk, I hear this awful noise from behind a fence: a cat retching its guts out.
Upon noticing my presence, it puts the regurgitation on pause, and angrily stumbles in front of me, glares intensely, then vomits profusely.
It’s one thing to notice some cat randomly spewing when I’m out and about. It’s another thing entirely for a cat to decide it instantly hates me with such verocity, it’s going to stop gagging on its breakfast long enough to go out of its way and deliberately vomit at me.
Part of my walk today was to check if Dr Pepper actually exists in Australia anymore. The availability of my preferred fizzy drink has been dwindling steadily this year – even the convenience store I could always rely on to have Dr Pepper in plentiful supply has failed me today.
So be warned, Schweppes. Remanufacture Dr Pepper immediately (oh, ho, ho… there’s no other Fear Factory fans on here, are there? Bugger) or… I’ll arrive on your doorstep with a bunch of pissed off, stomach-churny cats, and a wall of rising pussy bile. Be warned.
One Response to “A Warning to Schweppes”
uh, i believe it was YOU who introduced me to the beautiful world of http://www.usafoods.com.au cherry vanilla dr pepper is amazing. also another warning to schweppes: stop hiring freaky as fuck, mexican truck drivers. thxxxxx
By Kasandra on Dec 2, 2008