Last week, the guys who run the company I work at pulled me aside to let me know that my boss has taken on a new role within the company, and now I’ve taken her job for the time being. So it seems I’m in management all of a sudden, which frankly is constantly on the edge of introducing me to the world of work-induced dihorrhea.
Work is… challenging at the moment. We’ve recently moved premises, and there’s somewhat of a backlog at the moment. I’ve been working crazily all weekend, and feel like puking most of the time trying to work out how we’re going to rescue ourselves from this. I guess it’s nothing that can’t be overcome with hard work. And frankly? Masturbation is one of the only meditation techniques that seems to work for me, but beating off furiously under the desk every five minutes could prove difficult (I mean, my desk is one of the first you see when you walk into the office, and all).
It seems that Carolyn from The Apprentice can now be added to my small list of “Women I Could Curiously Engage in Intimate Relations With”. For once, it’s not my seriously misguided fascination with breasts, but her ability to wallop a Bible’s worth of fury simply by moving her eyebrow a few millimetres and affixing her mouth into something that looks like a cat’s anus. She fucking hates everyone on that show, and she’s not afraid to say it. Lordy, I love her. It seems she has a book, too – maybe she can teach me how to work out management without constantly pooing my pants.
Briefly, on the topic of reality TV, I’ve been watching Survivor for the first time this series. You know how you pick your favourite little contestant on shows such as these, and mentally egg them on, usually because they’re the hottest? For some reason, I’m seriously fixated with Judd. And I know, I know, he’s a dumb fat meathead, who I noticed managed to invent the word “maletosterone” on the last episode. There’s no reasonable explanation why I’m so obsessed, except for him making ridiculous yet slightly hot comments like that. (Bear in mind, however, that I’ve previously loudly mentioned that I’m also in love with the butch Home Hardware dog).
Okay, I have to get ready for work. Maletosterone is the key to not freaking out about work. Maletosterone ahoy.