From the yearly archives:

2005

Awishta Lickiya Cokk

September 26, 2005

Alrighty, so I’ve been a little more than slack in updating. It seems the only way I’ll ever update more often is by writing shorter posts.
Adam and I have always firmly believed that Indian food is extremely similar to any Melbourne Comedy Festival TV Gala: smells like something freaking amazing, but upon consumption, you layer [...]

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We bought a new camera…

August 28, 2005

…but I don’t have a cat, Buffy memorabilia, a comics collection, a freshly baked cake, Flickrrhea, a motorbike, the lack of self-respect required to produce photos of your own genitals for Gaydar, or a self-made Harry Potter costume.
So, patently, I have no need for a camera, as far as the internet goes.
Meanwhile, anyone else on [...]

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Blood Money

August 23, 2005

It looks like Adam’s landed a full time job at a pretty big ad agency, which is great. Now he can help create propaganda and make bad things seem good on a full time basis! A classic example is Liquorland opening tiny “Express” stores, while trumpeting that the new stores have a…
Streamlined selection for easy [...]

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Advice to Next INXS Singer: Watch Out for those Pesky Doorknobs

August 20, 2005

I was lucky enough to see Nine Inch Nails last night… that’s definitely going on my top 5 gigs of all time. Unfortunately, this morning my hearing is still shot to shit, so I can only communicate via nautical flags for now.
I’m not so sure about this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake. Yeah, I [...]

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A Warning to Schweppes

August 7, 2005

Just when I’m happily taking my time on a leisurely, ambling Sunday afternoon walk, I hear this awful noise from behind a fence: a cat retching its guts out.
Upon noticing my presence, it puts the regurgitation on pause, and angrily stumbles in front of me, glares intensely, then vomits profusely.
It’s one thing to notice some [...]

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Pyschic Drag Queen Attack

August 2, 2005

So my experiment to stay continuously drunk nine days straight has hit a slight snag. Occasionally I keep passing out and waking up sober. Everything is now refined to staying drunk at least 80% of the time, during PM hours. And I think I’m at least halfway successful in that respect.
Of course, being smashed and [...]

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OMG, Did You See What Happened in NSW Politics Today!

July 27, 2005

Wow, Bob Carr resigned. I wonder if he’llBZZZZZZZZT – you totally thought I’d wanked myself into the blogosphere just then, didn’t you? Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Can I stay drunk for nine days in a row? I’m about to find out, because I have a week of annual leave next week, hooray! It’s just [...]

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Design-arr Patches

July 23, 2005

This afternoon, I happened to notice a dude in the city wearing an pirate patch. It sure didn’t look like it was for medical reasons, either. I’ve totally been waiting for pirate patches to become cool, seeing as I’m blind in one eye anyway. I’d get one off eBay but I can only seem to [...]

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David Jones End of Financial Year Punch-in-the-Fucking-Cakehole Sale

July 21, 2005

A family member sent me an amount of David Jones vouchers for my birthday. So off I duly trundled, to go and cash in my present for… well, I wasn’t quite sure. This got me thinking: I can’t even remember the last time I visited David Jones. Ever. In fact, I’ve never once in my [...]

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Nothing Says Love Like an Airbrushed Birthday Cake

July 19, 2005

You fuckers rule. Thanks for all the Microsoft Paint-created birthday presents. If I can keep this up, you guys will create 100% of the content for my site, and I won’t have to write a bleeding thing. I’ll be like the Courtney Love solo album of blogs.
Anyway, I got sent all sorts of fucked up [...]

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