From the yearly archives:

2006

Bosnia, NSW, 2000

January 22, 2006

This is one of those life-lesson factlets you expect to pick up along the way, but this continues to allude me: how the hell are you supposed to wash a strainer?
You dip it in the water… all the crap stuck to it is hard to get out between the mesh. And it’s too hard to [...]

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Your Favourite Phone Sucks

January 17, 2006

Goddamn if I don’t hate mobile freakin’ phones.
Mobiles used to be fine. Bleeping, kermit-green-screened Nokias which actually emitted ringtones that sounded like ringtones, not the latest Sugababes single reinterpreted as 80s Casio-goth-synth. When having Snake on your phone was an awesome, mindblowing extra feature.
And now what do we have? Blurry cameras which take useless drunken [...]

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I’m Way Too Pissed Off To Update Properly

January 16, 2006

The grand demolition of our front yard has begun. I’ll try and take some photos shortly – the whole living-in-a-fishbowl factor is proving worse than I thought. Builders suddenly materialised in our front yard halfway through Adam and I almost getting it on. Worse still, I can’t slyly pick boogers from my nose without fear [...]

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Wanna Feel Old?

January 15, 2006

SURE, then. Alien Ant Farm’s cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” was released almost…
FIVE YEARS AGO
Read it and weep

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The <3 of Cain

January 14, 2006

Last night I excitedly galloped down to the Gaelic Club to see the Mark of Cain on their first tour since… forever. Man, I’ve been looking forward to seeing them play live – never seen them before, even though I’ve been a fan since I hosted a seriously dodgy community radio show as a teenager. [...]

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Meat Your Maker

January 11, 2006

Y’know how there’s those food facts people gleefully let loose… things you really didn’t want to know? I’m not talking about bullshit like KFC serving rabbit, but queasy facts that put you off your dinner quicker than Channel 10’s bright idea for Monday-to-Friday primetime viewing (an Australian version of The Biggest Loser? Five nights a [...]

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Blind In One Eye, Stung In The Other

January 10, 2006

First, I was busy having an unexplained anxiety attack. Then a arrogantly career-climbing mosquito just stung me ON THE EYLID. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not my evening.
I’m off to continue playing The Movies until I can work out how to turn my studio into a polygon-tastic gay pr0n mecca. I’m sure there’s a [...]

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She Definitely Don’t Like That

January 9, 2006

The concrete in our courtyard is not entirely unlike Kylie Minogue: from afar, there’s an apparent sheen and urban glamour to it. Upon closer inspection, it actually has many wrinkles and cracks. Oh, and it has cancer.
Seriously. Our courtyard has concrete cancer. Apparently it’s causing problems with the pipes underneath the courtyard. So, this coming [...]

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Licence to… Point Out When You Need Your Hazard Lights On

January 7, 2006

Man, I’m happy that Nein lost the rights to the footy. No more of the Nein bullshit like Eddie, the skycam (which was totally ridiculous for a game which pisses about all over the oval, not up and down the field like league does), ridiculous juggling of live matches with the NRL – although [...]

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Tastes Like Drunker

January 5, 2006

OF COURSE I’ll be back to drinking alcohol before the week is out.
I think the underlying problem was my insatiable need to get absolutely plastered to the point where I couldn’t walk or talk on a weekly basis. What’s probably required are some new ground rules: no drinking before I go out to meet others [...]

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