2009 | World Wide Jeb

Archive for 2009

Where Have all the Bizarre Two-in-One Stores Gone?

July 3, 2009

If you grew up in the country, you’d be familiar with the concept of bizarre hybrid stores. In townships with smaller populations, you’d frequently find stores melding hardware with children’s toys, newsagents with chemists and other such strange combinations. To prevent a complete homogenisation of our urban shopping strips, I call ...

Posted in: Shops | 1 comment on this entry »

If You’re Served Pancakes on your Next Plane Flight, Jump Out the Airlock

July 2, 2009

According to a friend of mine, I’m obsessed with referring to humanity's inevitably doomed future within my blog entries. In fact, when I happened to catch a TV commercial for "Napisan, now with built in oxy-intelligence!" last night - my initial reaction was "wow - that sounds like how Skynet started". ...

Posted in: Advertising, Plane Flights, Scientology | 1 comment on this entry »

When the Concept of a Home Gym Goes Too Far

June 25, 2009

The owner of our local gym is an awesome bloke, but I find it strange that he seems to be working at every given hour of the day. He's more dedicated to his job than Natalie Bassingthwaite is to hypnotising the nation via TV with her crazy eyes. If I rock ...

Posted in: Conspiracy Theories, Fitness, Work | 4 comments on this entry »

Top 10 Worst Car Names Ever Sold in Australia

June 23, 2009

While I was researching my recent car purchase, I came across some car names which are terrible enough to knock the wind out of you. Although most of them are likely due to language barriers, they all sound like expressions of enthusiasm from the 1970s or children's cartoon characters. This list ...

Posted in: Cars | 4 comments on this entry »

Five Examples of Why You Should Complain to Companies About Bad Products

June 18, 2009

You like free stuff, right? Then next time something goes wrong with something you've bought from the supermarket, I demand you let the manufacturer know. After a recent messy packaging explosion, I was so irked by a product splurging laundry detergent all over my chest (no, it's not hot - there's ...

Posted in: Drinks, FAIL, Food, Internet, Lollies | 9 comments on this entry »

Datsun Sunny: Not the Manliest Car Name Ever

June 17, 2009

We haven't owned a car for the last 10 years. My preferred illusion is that we're environmentally conscious, when the quiet reality is that my last experience owning a car was like being married to Pete Doherty. Sure, sometimes it'd start if it was feeling perky. Other times it'd lie drooling ...

Posted in: Cars, Learning | 3 comments on this entry »

List of People Who Should Always be Followed Around in Public by Someone Playing the Benny Hill Theme on a Loudspeaker

June 16, 2009

Mark Latham The Queen Andrew Bolt Gretel Killeen, whenever accompanied by a toy boy Sam Newman (with pauses in the music whenever he opens his mouth) Anyone who appears in a Zoot Review Danni Minogue, whenever confronted with cameras Any metal singer, whenever they tap or punch their own chest Todd McKenney Anyone working in a clothing store in ...

Posted in: Celebrities, Music | Be the first to comment on this entry »

Why I Suspect ATM Actually Stands for Artistic Taste Moderator

June 15, 2009

Despite my childhood fear of the Village logo as mentioned in my last post, Adam and I overcame adversity and saw The Hangover at our local Village cinema this weekend. Buying cinema tickets online has always seemed like a no-brainer to me, mostly because you can choose your own seat when ...

Posted in: FAIL, Movies, Technology | 4 comments on this entry »

These 12 Seconds of Film Tormented My Childhood

June 2, 2009

Writing about IMAX yesterday reminded me of one of my biggest childhood fears. It wasn't the dark, it wasn't monsters, it was... Village Roadshow's ominous, creepy cinema logo from the 1980s. Just hearing the opening sound effect - which I imagined to be the noise of an undead rapist ...

Posted in: Advertising, Childhood, Fears, Movies | 6 comments on this entry »

IMAXimum Disappointment

June 1, 2009

In recent months, Hoyts cinemas have been retrofitting selected cinemas into what they're advertising as large-scale IMAX cinemas. Around the time Watchmen was released, my mates and I figured those famous blue appendage scenes would be best propelled into our faces via IMAX, so off we drove. We were expecting a ...

Posted in: FAIL, IMAX, Movies | 1 comment on this entry »

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World Wide Jeb

A bloke in Melbourne, Australia who loves beer, men, metal music and falling over. RAD!