From the monthly archives:

March 2009

UNO as Inspiration for Government Legislation: Another Reason I Should Never Persue Politics

March 29, 2009

Do you need proof that I’m a incredibly lame gamer? Here’s two quick facts:
1. I was counting down the days until the Australian version of Buzz was finally released last week, and belted to the closest JB HiFi to buy it, ike a German Shepherd suddenly spotting the ocean.
2. After pondering the possibility of purchasing [...]

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Biffy Stalko

March 25, 2009

Last night I was lucky enough to see my favourite band, Biffy Clyro. They’re Scottish and still building a fanbase here in Australia, so I was extremely excited – it’s only their second tour here.
Of course, the first tour they ever had in Australia last year – well, I went a little overboard with my [...]

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Undertele: A Tale of Two Trujillos

March 19, 2009

What would happen if Rob Trujillo (bassist for Metallica) and Sol Trujillo (head honcho at telemegaglobocorp Telstra) were brothers and forced to live together? A HILARIOUS SITCOM, THAT’S WHAT.
UNDERTELE: A TALE OF TWO TRUJILLOS
(credits roll)
ROB TRUJILLO: (knocks on door) Sol, I’m home!
SOL TRUJILLO: (opens door) Why are you here! Leave me alone! I am busy [...]

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More Boycotts

March 16, 2009

This stupid blog turns 10 years old today. Hard to believe I’ve been posting such rubbish for so long, but there you go.
To mark the occasion, I’ve compiled a new list of everything I’ve boycotted on this blog since my last boycotts post. READ AND LEARN.
Friends who mock your painful foot blisters
Boycott started: January 17, [...]

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The Stupidest Retail Outlets in My End of the City

March 9, 2009

Hope everyone in Melbourne survived the minor earthquake on Friday night without any problems, and nobody was getting their genitals pierced or tattoos inked at the time. Just can’t help but fret that someone, somewhere, underwent a horrible body modification experience with unexpected earthquake-induced consequences…
It’s a public holiday here today, so most of the shops [...]

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Coles: Now Stalking Me For Your Benefit

March 5, 2009

Recently, I learnt that our local Coles supermarket is somewhat of a national testing ground. Apparently our suburb is almost equally covered by poor, middle-class, rich, and drug-abusing-AFL-player demographics – creating an ideal environment for Coles to test their latest bonkers ideas on us.
New store layouts and other experiments are constantly carried out at our [...]

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Marketers, The Dictionary is not your Random Flavour Generator

March 4, 2009

There’s an increasing marketing habit I’ve observed with food advertising in recent times, and I have something to say.
Corporations, take note: places are not flavours.
For example, what the hell am I supposed to assume “southwest sauce” is before Subway slop it all over my miserable, wrinkled sandwich? The gritty, earthy taste of Arizonian gravel? The [...]

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Terminator 5: Rise of the Greased Pontoons

March 2, 2009

As locals are already aware, the following SMS was sent to all residents of Victoria today:

Nobody is going to argue this isn’t a good idea. I’m certainly not going to poke fun at the bushfires, especially considering my best mate has been going through a series of terrifying evacuations up in the Dandenongs. It’s been [...]

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