As locals are already aware, the following SMS was sent to all residents of Victoria today:
Nobody is going to argue this isn’t a good idea. I’m certainly not going to poke fun at the bushfires, especially considering my best mate has been going through a series of terrifying evacuations up in the Dandenongs. It’s been a horrible, shocking series of events.
However, I’m wondering if I’m the only one who received this SMS then later thought… I hope this SMS broadcast system is only used sparingly and properly.
I’ve been known to wear a tinfoil hat at times – everything from Facebook’s privacy policy to the highly suspicious uniform number of sausages in Watties Baked Beans & Sausages tins – but there is awful potential for this system to go terribly wrong. Imagine if a well-intended but carelessly worded SMS warning was sent out around the Northern Beaches area when the Cronulla riots broke out? A dreadful situation could have been intensified even further.
Nobody was expecting a SMS warning like this, I suppose, so it’s all a bit of a surprise. Most especially to any paranoid amphetamines dealer who rolled out of bed this afternoon, fired up their brekkie bong then made the ghastly discovery of a new SMS from”Vic Police” sitting unread on their phone.
So let’s hope this system is only used for clear danger and with good intentions. In this spirit, I present a list of the most unlikely messages you’d be worried about receiving on Victoria’s SMS broadcast system:
- Reports of temporary blindness reported throughout metropolitan area. Avoid Channel 9 for next hour/any other medium displaying Matthew Newton’s pasty naked body
- ARIA ALERT: Crash Test Dummies reformed, threatening re-entry to Victorian Top 50 Singles: remain under sturdy furniture until threat passes
- SKYNET ACTIVE: REPORT TO NEAREST FOOTBALL OVAL FOR MANDATORY “IT’S A KNOCKOUT” TOURNAMENT HELD FOR YOUR NEW OVERLORDS’ PLEASURE
- WARNING: reports of Gloria Jeans Coffee outlets in area no longer holding up tenuous pretense, staff shackling customers to walls until agreeing to purchase tickets to Hillsong Mens/Womens Conference. Approach with caution
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Three thoughts:
1) How did they get the phone numbers?
2) Is Australia like the States, where there are no special “cell phone area codes”? If so, wouldn’t they send this to people that have a Victoria number but no longer live there?
3) What about the people that don’t have cell phones?
It was sent by all major phone companies to anyone with a Victorian billing address… so I guess some people may have erroneously received it, but better there’s a few false positives than no message at all.
For the especially paranoid, you can now follow the Vic police on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/victoriapolice
My favourite:
“Don’t be naughty, keep to 40.
2:05 PM Feb 2nd from web”