My Drunk Boyfriend Explains the Internet in 2015

Last night:

Me: That national broadband network announcement is brilliant, hey?

Adam: Huh? I didn’t see anything.

Me: The government’s installing a fibre-to-the-home network across the country.

Adam: Oh, what a load of rubbish.

Me: What are you talking about? That’s the best outcome we could have hoped for!

Adam: You watch, it’ll all be outdated by the time it’s installed.

Me: But it’s like how the copper phone lines were used through the last century. This’ll be the foundation of what we u–

Adam: TOTAL FAILURE. You watch. There’ll be something better that comes along which they could’ve used.

Me: What are you talking about? It’s probably the fastest connection we could hope to h–

Adam: NO NO NO NO NO. There’ll be something better than fibre optics which comes along, like, like… (pauses thoughtfully)… Blu-Ray optics or something.

Me: Are you kidding me?

Adam: Well, maybe not something like that. It’ll be some entirely new technology nobody’s thought about, like… er… (struggles for words)

Me: Oh, this I have to hear. So exactly what will you be using to access the internet at home in 2015, if it’s not a fibre optic connection?

Adam: (finally blurts out at random) … INTERNET KITES.

Me: Internet kites?

Adam: KITE-BASED HIGH DEFINITION INTERNET TECHNOLOGY. IN THE SKY.

Me: So you’re telling me that when fibre optics comes around, it’ll already be outdated by–

Adam: I’LL BE FLYING A KITE IN THE BACKYARD FOR MY INTERNET. WATCH AND WAIT.

So there you have it – a glimpse into the future from the technology luminary himself. My assumption is that this means IT professionals will need to dump those Microsoft certifications for hang-gliding courses.

Tagged as: Adam, Internet, The Future