Now that MP3 downloads are about to supersede CDs completely, there’s an unexpected threat on the horizon. To date, artists have been forced to limit their albums to 74 minutes or less, to fit within the maximum length of a CD.
Albums in MP3 format terrifyingly remove this time restriction. Did you think the recent resurgence of prog rock albums were lengthy enough already? Prepare to have your perceptions of space and time torn open like James Matheson’s mouth!
Trent Reznor’s already hinting at his desires for lengthier formats by releasing Ghosts I-IV as a four disc set. The album concept was based around the final four hours of a box of industrial kitchen knives being kicked around a wretched dystopian wasteland by a bunch of android soccer players, I believe. But no matter what the concept was, it’s clear that he’s secretly aggrieved. You can just tell he wanted to force us to listen to those albums for fifteen hours longer than he was able to.
On the plus side, without a 74-minute limitation; Ministry of Sound compilations could finally provide a dance mix to accommodate the entire six hour length of your manic, sweaty, flail-dancing acid trips. Prog metal albums will progress to day-long odysseys, but will continue to be comprised of six tracks or less.
One thing’s for sure, the Presets sure won’t have any problems filling up a three hour album: they’ll be certain to stick to their formula of repeating a key phrase relentlessly (“I’m here with all of my people!” “Are you the one?” “This boy’s in love!” x 5000), in the vocal style of a disgruntled Nick Cave discovering he’s purchased an unsavoury sandwich.
The Presets actually inspired a possible business idea for me. Since I first saw Moan My IP.com (NSFW) – a site where needy girls moan your IP address in a worrying manner – I figured the Presets must be successful for a reason. Surely there’s also room for The Singer of the Presets Monotonously Repeats Your IP Address.com?
In fact, I’m sure there’s a few other related website ideas that have the potential for success:
- That Depressing-Sounding Dude from Interpol Injects Heroin and Moans Your IP Address in the Style of a Dirge Song.com
- Gina G Over-Attempts a Pop Comeback By Perkily Shrieking Your IP Address.com
- Aphex Twin Transmit Your IP Address by Dropping Ball Bearings in Morse Code Format onto a Microphone.com
- Daniel Johns Wistfully Penetrates a Trombone and Wails Your IP Address in Falsetto as he Climaxes.com
There’s money in those ideas, surely?
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OK, I’m obviously older than you. I dread the idea of MP3s superseding CDs because I want to be able to hold something tangible. Yes, grandpa Rob still mourns for the days of the LP where most albums were restricted to about 8 concise tracks and the filler banished to the b-side of 7″ singles (ask your mum what they are). When we went from LP to CD we lost the wonderful coverart that came with LPs more spacious packaging. The sensuous, tactile bit of the music buying experience was gone. And now the industry thinks I’ll settle for a computer file? Fuck that! I’ll just sit on the retirement home verandah with my old vinyl and mutter about the good old days.
And BTW I have heard that Trent Reznor is a dud fuck and that Nine Inch Nail is something of an exaggeration.