For many years now, I’ve subscribed to Kerrang! magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the subject matter, it was recently described as “the metal equivalent of a teenage gossip magazine” by the host of my favourite music podcast. He’s bang on the money.
There’s been a few things that’ve started bugging me about the magazine in recent times. Perhaps it’s the fact that the editorial focus oscilates wildly between dissecting the nuances of black metal and identifying which emo singers have a new haircut each week. More likely is the fact that it’s starting to remind me of reading Smash Hits at age 14 and running down to Brashs to buy a cassingle.
This afternoon I began the process of renewing my subscription, only to discover the cost has doubled. There is no bloody way I’m paying over AU$500 when I can’t even remember why I subscribed in the first place – maybe it was for the interviews? Even boisterously yelling “KERR-RANGGGG!” when the mag arrives in my mailbox has lost its appeal.
But if it’s serious interviews I’m after, I’m not sure why I’m still reading the fucking thing. After flicking through the last few issues, the following are all Kerrang! interview questions that high profile bands were recently asked, without any context whatsoever:
- Do you believe in life on other planets?
- Is there one hair product you can’t live without?
- Have you ever been caught in a genuine fist fight?
- Are you much of a handyman around the house?
For Hetfield’s sake, this is a supposed heavy music magazine, not a Facebook quiz! “Are you much of a fucking handyman around the house”?! I’d love to see Andrew Denton adapt this scattered approach if Enough Rope ever makes it back on air. Who cares about delving into the mechanics of what makes high-profile personalities tick, when we can find out what their favourite Subway sandwich is and who they’d most like to be from Toy Story? (Then again, Sunrise seems to be doing a pretty bang-on job of this anyway).
Goodbye, Kerrang!. My subscription won’t be renewed, but I look forward to you interviewing me when my metalhomo band goes platinum, so we can analyse my favourite pancake topping.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
$500 a year for a subscription? What the hell how many issues do they put out a year?!
For $500 I’d expect either Bible sized monthly editions or weekly news.
Anyway you’re better off not suscribing. Paper news is so faux pas.
It’s weekly, and it used to be MUCH cheaper. I’ve concluded I rely on them mostly for reviews of what’s been released each week, they’re a good resource for that…