List of People Who Should Always be Followed Around in Public by Someone Playing the Benny Hill Theme on a Loudspeaker

by Jeb on June 16, 2009

Mark Latham
The Queen
Andrew Bolt
Gretel Killeen, whenever accompanied by a toy boy
Sam Newman (with pauses in the music whenever he opens his mouth)
Anyone who appears in a Zoot Review
Danni Minogue, whenever confronted with cameras
Any metal singer, whenever they tap or punch their own chest
Todd McKenney
Anyone working in a clothing store in a fashionable part of town, attempting to combine ironic facial hair with a cardigan
Ian Turpie (c’mon, this actually would be awesome)
P. Diddy
Billy Corgan (homeboy may actually crack a smile)
Ben Cousins, but only if he’s erratically swatting at the air around him, trying to kill the music