The owner of our local gym is an awesome bloke, but I find it strange that he seems to be working at every given hour of the day.
He’s more dedicated to his job than Natalie Bassingthwaite is to hypnotising the nation via TV with her crazy eyes. If I rock up to the gym first thing in the morning? The owner of the gym’s there. If I’m dashing there for a late night workout on my way home from work? He’s there. Even if I pop in at some strange time on the weekend? He’s still there!
This is just a small, independent gym with a small, dedicated set of (mostly meathead) clients. The interiors resemble a crumbling recreation room from Battlestar Galactica. There’s autographed photos of famous bodybuilders across the walls who’ve visited the gym over the years. Most of the equipment is cracked, warped and clearly has a history of decades of muscle-building.
But it’s totally awesome! There’s a real community atmosphere, and the owner is an awesome bloke. He could completely sell out and chase the local market who’d otherwise march robotically into their nearest Fitness First gym, but he’s happy with his loyal regulars and a humble word of mouth campaign. He doesn’t even have a website!
Lately, though, I’ve been getting really suspicious about the owner’s omnipresence and have begun seeking some answers.
Considering the number of clients he has, he doesn’t have the gargantuan budget afforded by most other suburban gyms. So what better way to reduce the costs of the gym, than… BY LIVING THERE!
There’s a mysterious storeroom which he frequently slips into during gym hours. I’m utterly convinced he’s got a bed, a TV, a bar fridge… everything he needs in there. As for showers and toilets, they come built into the gym!
So it’s not that he’s working long hours at the gym – it’s just that all his clients are invading his living room.
Adam thinks I’m being a little overly inventive and the storeroom simply stores drinks for the gym’s fridge, but I refuse to be swayed. Anyone who’s dedicated enough to live in their own workplace deserves my custom.
You wouldn’t see those grinning, suspiciously tanned Fitness First employees living in their gyms, would you?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Dude, you totally sold me on this gym! Where is it? I’m looking for a place to join, and now I can stalk out the storeroom when you’re not there.
Stake out time!
It’s around Port Melbourne. If you’re a local, you should be able to figure it out from there…
Ah, I am not. It would appear you will be stake-outing on your own.
Fitness First employess frighten me a little bit. I’ve never set foot into one of their gyms for that reason (OK my crippling laziness also may have a huge part in that).