Where Have all the Bizarre Two-in-One Stores Gone?

If you grew up in the country, you’d be familiar with the concept of bizarre hybrid stores. In townships with smaller populations, you’d frequently find stores melding hardware with children’s toys, newsagents with chemists and other such strange combinations.

To prevent a complete homogenisation of our urban shopping strips, I call for a re-institution of such bizarre retail pairings. In fact, just inexplicably knock down the adjoining wall of every second store on your local high street and force everyone to do business together. I’M THE MAYOR OF JEBTOWN, WHAT I SAY GOES!

In my own suburb alone, this would instantly create a massage parlour/electrical repairs store, fill the growing community need for a one-stop-vet-plus-bicycle-shop, not to mention a combined post office/travel agent (actually, that last one could work!)

Any business adjacent to a pub will hit the jackpot – all those smashed patrons will hiccupingly fling their money anywhere under the influence. Praise the retail gods for my newly-dictated pub/hairdressers! Somewhat terrifyingly, this would also create a pub/architect in my own suburb – so don’t go blaming me when you submit a down payment on a home designed to accommodate a dedicated pole-dancing room.

Of course, there are still some chains proudly flying the peculiar retail hybrid flag. Take a leaf out of Priceline’s book: where else can you purchase suppositories and wholesale quantities of lollies in the one basket?

Tagged as: Shops