Imagine a German Shepherd being injected with speed, then playing catch. That’s more or less my finesse on a treadmill.
Seeing as my daily treadmill flail tends to attract the attention of everyone at the gym, I was suspicious when I noticed a lone fellow in the corner not paying any attention. As I alighted the treadmill, I began my cool-down stretching near him.
As I continued to work through a configuration of limb arrangements which would make even a yoga master blush, something didn’t seem right with the dude. He’d been holding his left knee over his torso for a good few minutes now. What kind of strange extended stretchy activity was this?
Trying my best to appear inconspicuous, I eyed him suspiciously. The guy had been stuck in the same position for at least five minutes now, so I was starting to become concerned. Monitoring his torso for signs of breathing, I began to ponder the etiquette for checking if someone had carked it during a stretch.
My eyes flicked to the clock on the wall – it’d been at least eight minutes by this stage. The bloke still hadn’t moved. Okay, I figured, the polite amount of time for allowing someone to die has passed. I’m going in.
As I reached over to touch the dude on the shoulder, he suddenly sat upright with a terrified stare in his eyes. All he could see was me: some creepy, sweaty dude reaching out to him longingly. Somewhat startled, he jumped up and made an incredibly hasty exit to the change rooms.
Suppose he’d just fallen asleep or something. Why aren’t there any clear social guidelines for checking if people have died or are just sleeping? And don’t listen to those NRL players, their method of checking if someone’s asleep/dead is highly unethical.
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‘And don’t listen to those NRL players, their method of checking if someone’s asleep/dead is highly unethical.’
hahaha gold :)