Top 5 Things I Can Do Now I’m Single

Well, howdy there. I’ve settled into my new place, and have plenty of recent events to write about in the coming weeks: berko neighbours, household disasters, and a New Year’s Eve skinnydipping jellyfish sting disaster among others. Hopefully this is the start of almost-daily blog updates again.

There were certain activities which really seemed to irk Adam, my ex. Although we get along fine as mates these days, I now have the chance to indulge myself in certain things that have been missing from my life for a while.

Yes, obviously there’s a whole range of saucy activities I can engage in now I’m single, but this is more about the practical things.

#5: Purchasing any form of Asian paper-based lighting

Paper lamps are often the most affordable lighting options in omnipresent Swedish furniture stores, but a certain someone had a belief that “they’ll set themselves on fire in a matter of hours”. Now I’m free to run the risk of flammable lighting options all on my own.

#4: Inexplicably using every single bowl in the house to cook the simplest of meals

Even if I’m throwing together something as simple as an omelet, I seem to burn through every freakin’ bowl in the house just to put it together. Of course, after cooking a meal I never felt like washing up the dishes, so we were always eating cereal out of things like coffee cups the next morning. I run on my own culinary rules now, so I can use fourteen bowls to create a simple serve of pasta without any consequences!

#3: Playing music on a permanent basis

Not so much the fault of my ex, because he preferred the TV in the living room, but I’m definitely a music person. Blaring out my favourite tunes at all times of day is freakin’ awesome. This is especially the case when I wake up -- I’m a big fan of crunchy breakfast metal, but Adam was a Sunriseologist, which cancelled out playing any music. No longer! I eat Dillinger Escape Plan for breakfast these days!

Speaking of Dillinger, how awesome is their new single?

Sorry. I’ll find any excuse to work Dillinger into a blog post.

#2: Unnecessarily lighting more candles than a Catholic Church merely to read a book

Look, it’s in my homo genes: I freaking love candles. Unfortunately, when I had 400 candles burning away like a furnace in the bedroom so I can feel like I’m reading in the dark ages, it caused problems when Adam wanted to sleep. Blowing out that sheer quantity of candles causes the room to smell like a small bushfire with all the smoke. Luckily, these days, I’m free to choke on all the carbon monoxide I like as I fall asleep.

#1: Lifting a blanket ban on board games

For whatever reason, Adam hated board games. This manifested some sort of board game-based shame deep within me, as if it was simply far too geeky and nerdy to dare open a board game over a few beers with friends. However, I think I’m ready to give all this a crack again, although I haven’t really played anything since I was 18. What does everyone play these days over a few drinks? Strip Jenga?

Tagged as: Board Games, candles, Cooking, music