How does this sound as a sitcom premise?
A group of men spend their weeks desperately prowling around bars and clubs attempting to pick up women. But this isn’t just any group of men! They spend their spare time desperately studying up on misogynistic methods of scoring women with berko science, then disguise it in socially acceptable teachings! Their ultimate quest is endless va-jay-jay with little regard for the feelings or wellbeing of the women involved. HILARITY ENSUES!
It would make a great sitcom premise, but it’s actually true. This is the world of the “pickup artist”, and I didn’t believe it was for real at first glance, either.
Apparently these walking petri dishes of STDs spend their time desperately studying tips and tactics on bedding women, in an endless juvenile quest to dominate the minds of women. It’s pack rape mentality made socially acceptable!
The most prominent member of the seduction community is known as Mystery (not his name by deed poll, I’m wagering). That’s him pictured above, in the smoldering and sensual furry top hat. His Wikipedia article lists some of his known pickup artist terms and concepts:
The 3-second Rule: If you see a girl you are interested in, you must approach her within three seconds or you will over-think things and create too much approach anxiety. (In other words, no fatties or uglies!)
Neg: A backhanded compliment intended to snub a potential mate (“target”), telegraph a lack of interest (“false disqualification”), or encourage the target to prove her worth (“qualify”). (Because misogyny is totally awesome!)
Peacocking: Dressing to stand out, or to have an item of clothing or an accessory that looks interesting, allowing the girl to comment on it if she is interested in starting a conversation with you. (Peacocking is actually quite handy, as it clearly flags fuckwits in a crowd who have spent money on “pickup artist training”).
It gets better!
Some pickup artists in the community write up “Lay Reports” (“LRs”) detailing their experiences with women which they share on Internet forums for constructive criticism, or to serve as examples for others.
It sounds like these guys truly believe they’re racking up Xbox Achievement points with every poor lady they inexplicably manage to score. Bizarre. Has anyone actually come across a suspected pickup artist in Australia? I’m praying this is a phenomenon that’s restricted to the US for now.
Of course, it’d all never work in the gay community, and nor does it need to. You-know-what is virtually the homo handshake. Conversation comes afterwards!
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
This makes me sick, but many men live their lives like this.
*rages*
Furry tophats are so 90s.
there is nothing about his appearance that isn’t douchelike. There are chicks who eat that shit up though.
I just noticed the tattoo on his neck! (Yes, it is a tattoo, I checked…. ugh)
They are around. I have seen them operating. Homo-handshake, haha.
There’s a dude at work who participates in online chats & forums, learning how to become a pickup artist. He’s even gone to some conference-type-thing. He spends actual money on this shit, too.
Apparently they’re meant to keep it really quiet (like you’d want to admit it to others anyway, right?), like it’s some awesome secret for awesome dudes only or some shit.
Oh em gee, have you read ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss? it is so awesome, it’s all about the pick up community.
As Joanna says, read “The Game”. You’ll find it in the self help section at Borders. No joke.
Typical feminism… not understanding the underlying meaning behind being a pickup artist (which is not a good term). It’s becoming an attractive man, to women who otherwise, reject the nice guys time and time again to hook up with the asshole (only to be dumped and cry to your girlfriends about)…
Typical feminism? We’ve all read the pathetic forum comments… There’s nothing “nice” about these guys… THEY are the assholes! You’ll notice it is not about how to find a long-term relationship with one woman… More about how to bed as many women as possible… Hence the term: Pick Up ARTIST!
All I can say is I’m glad we live in a time of equality, contraception and abortion, because the independence of women will (hopefully) lead to them being able to choose a higher level of fitness (reads: NICE guys) and hopefully weed out the inferior genetics prevalent among such utter imbeciles!