My favourite thing about eBay is what sets it apart from other online retailers: the unique and immediate passive-aggression that follows any purchase.
In your average eBay seller’s mind, you’re not just out to scam them: you’re out to scam them and use the proceeds to inject an infant with tuberculosis.
Woe behold those who do not submit to the eBay seller’s demands of 24 hour payment! You are doomed to be outcast into a special 48pt, bold, red, underlined Comic Sans type of hell.
Look, things can go wrong with eBay transactions. Maybe you forgot to update your correct address on your account, or you dared wait an extra day before submitting your payment. The problem is that your bog-standard eBay seller, already driven halfway to psychosis from licking postage stamps all day long, immediately jumps to the worst assumption.
That’s if you’ve even managed to rise through all the arbitrary terms and conditions some of these guys create. My favourite was a seller in the US who refused to post items to any country which wasn’t sending troops to Afghanistan.
The passive-aggression from sellers is always there, though. This is an emai I received when I won a fridge on eBay recently. I’d DARED to enquire if I could pay that day, but requested if he could hold onto the fridge for an extra week:
Well of course I’m happy to keep the item until the 14th as agreed, however I would like payment BEFORE then as of course there were other bidders very close to your bid, and ebay terms demand that you submit payment within 3 days. You can do this immediately by direct deposit into our bank account, the details are; [redacted] If there is any problem with that let me know, otherwise I guess I’ll just have to go ahead and offer it to the underbidder and you’ll miss out and have to buy a different fridge.
Don’t forget, folks – in these guys’ minds, negative feedback on eBay is wielded around like a flick-knife on public transport. The danger is there, and they’re not afraid to use their fatality move against you.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
How much did that thing you WON, cost you? Ah, I’m just joshing/being passive-aggressive. People do, indeed, suck balls.
I thought sellers can’t leave negative feedback or have they changed it again?
There is a reason why that person doesn’t run a real world store, I’d imagine. Sounds like old G. Bell. :P
and yeah, sellers can’t leave negative feedback any more… they can only open non paying bidder claims. :)
As an occasional ebay seller, all I ask from people is that they communicate with me (like you did). I try to make it fun and friendly. Why wouldn’t you?
ha ha i’d have told the seller to shove the fridge, i’m sick of humans at the moment!
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