Goddamn Identical Twins!

This is one of those posts that could  get me into all sorts of trouble in real life, but here goes anyway…

A couple of weeks ago, I was attending the local gay bar – although I’m generally more of a gigs kinda guy, this bar’s only a short stumble home from my new apartment. I hadn’t visited this bar in many years, so I wasn’t familiar with the regulars.

One of the guys in attendance just looked so damn familiar, though. It was puzzling me for hours and I wasn’t game to ask him how I knew him. Fortunately, my drunkenness progressed during the evening and I rose up to an epiphany: he attended my gym.

This was a pleasant surprise: my gym has a bit of a reputation as a roid-head testosterone manufacturing centre. Most blokes at my gym look like prison inmates and parade around carrying invisible watermelons under their arms. It was nice to know there was a secret ally among the meatheads.

Once my Dutch courage bubbled over the surface, I beelined across to him and blurted out an explosion of words, which I’m certain sounded something like “HEYWEGOTOTHESAMEGYMBBLAAAARGH!”

Fortunately, he was an extremely friendly guy, and confirmed that he did indeed go to my gym with his brother most days. That’s when it hit me: he had a twin brother. I’d seen them both working out together – and it turns out they’re both gay too (which is nice, in ways which are probably quite disturbing if I think about them too much).

The memory of meeting him was rather drunkenly blurry and vague, but I knew I’d at least be able to say hi when I saw both of them at the gym again.

When I spied him at the gym the following day, my error hit me like a mallet to the head: I’d been counting on both him and his brother to attend. They’re completely identical, so that way I could bellow a big greeting at both of them and see which one recognised me.

Unluckily for me, only one of the twins was at the gym. I nodded vaguely at him, unsure if he’d remember me (or even want to continue a discussion with the drunk bogan he’d encountered last night) – he nodded back vaguely, yet still got onto the treadmill next to me. Glancing sideways at him, I wasn’t sure if it was him or not! He kept vaguely returning my looks, and I had no idea what to do. By the end of my workout, I would have either appeared extremely rude or extremely crazy.

The following day, one of the twins appeared at the gym again – and this time, returned my smiles and ended up having a chat to me. Although they’re identical, I couldn’t help but feel it was the exact dude I’d seen yesterday.

So that’s the question that remains in my head. Was he just as bonkers and nervous to speak to me as I was to him the first time, or did I genuinely encounter two separate twins?

I suspect foul twin-play is afoot.