Screaming Can Cost You Half a Million Bucks

You know what I’ve always had a fear of? Property auctions. It’s way too easy to make a costly mistake, and I’ll tell you why.

See, I’m always rather paranoid when I’m going about my business and need to walk past an auction. The auctioneer is always bellowing and screaming, while everyone stands around and looks at their shoes, pretending they’re not depressed about the state of the market.

This makes it way too easy for me to be innocently walking past and do any of the following:

• Sneeze
• Trip over and yelp
• Answer my phone
• Swat a fly away from my face
• Scratch my ear
• Scream out a particularly exciting part of whatever Andrew W.K. song is playing on my headphones (happens more often than you’d think)
• Click my fingers as I remember something important

Any of these actions could be misinterpreted as a bid for the property. A simple scratch of the head could lead to a million dollar commitment for the rest of my life!

If you spot anyone running down the streets of St Kilda with an angry real estate auctioneer hot on their heels, that’s probably me.