From the category archives:

Celebrities, TV and the media

Channel 10 Reality Show Generator

February 18, 2010
Thumbnail image for Channel 10 Reality Show Generator

Seeing as Channel 10 seem to be struggling in the ratings, I’ve decided to help them out.
Check it out: my patented Channel 10 Reality Show Generator. View it now and pretend you’re a coked-up network executive!
Big thanks to the genius @lord_baconation for helping with the generator code!

5 comments Read the full post →

Suggested Antiques Roadshow Spin-Offs

February 9, 2010
Thumbnail image for Suggested Antiques Roadshow Spin-Offs

We can all agree that Antiques Roadshow is very safe television. It’s time for this franchise to be relaunched with some edgier spin-offs!
With the help of my buddy Sam, we came up with:
Antiques Roadhouse
Similar to the film Roadhouse, but instead of Patrick Swayze, it features old gay men beating each other up with Chippendale and [...]

3 comments Read the full post →

Naomi Robson is Back!

February 3, 2010
Thumbnail image for Naomi Robson is Back!

Earlier this week, Defamer Australia lifted the lid on this darkly hilarious development:
I know you’ve all been missing Naomi Robson’s presence on the small screen. So here’s some news that ought to cheer you up immensely – she’s back! Kinda! She’s talking relationships and Secret Men’s Business with high profile penis owners like Nick Giannopoulos!
If [...]

9 comments Read the full post →

How to Stop Showering and Score Girls

September 15, 2009

What’s wrong with this sentence? You look homeless, smell like you’ve bathed in Tommy Lee’s sweat, have almost no cash to your name, are borderline alcoholic, can barely string a legible sentence together but are utterly drowning in the affections of women. HOW? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
Simply add the words “you play guitar in a [...]

3 comments Read the full post →

Hey, We’re Just Protecting the Neighbourhood

July 29, 2009

Every now and then, I gleefully entertain fantasies of laughing in the face of my current job, and becoming a full-time house painter. A mate of mine continues to espouse a theory that a bunch of us could all easily slap a few licks of paint on buildings for a living, but makes the activity [...]

1 comment Read the full post →

When the Cold, Hard Reality of the Babysitter’s Club Slaps You in the Face

July 16, 2009

Recently I’ve been vaguely looking into how people earn money from writing, and have discovered that you can make a full-time living as a speechwriter. It’s probably not an option for me, as it’d prove way too dangerously tempting for me to slyly insert last-minute additions, so politicians begin blurting out statements like “That’s why [...]

5 comments Read the full post →

If You’re Served Pancakes on your Next Plane Flight, Jump Out the Airlock

July 2, 2009

According to a friend of mine, I’m obsessed with referring to humanity’s inevitably doomed future within my blog entries.
In fact, when I happened to catch a TV commercial for “Napisan, now with built in oxy-intelligence!” last night — my initial reaction was “wow — that sounds like how Skynet started”. I’m sure Dynamo Sentient isn’t [...]

2 comments Read the full post →

List of People Who Should Always be Followed Around in Public by Someone Playing the Benny Hill Theme on a Loudspeaker

June 16, 2009

Mark Latham
The Queen
Andrew Bolt
Gretel Killeen, whenever accompanied by a toy boy
Sam Newman (with pauses in the music whenever he opens his mouth)
Anyone who appears in a Zoot Review
Danni Minogue, whenever confronted with cameras
Any metal singer, whenever they tap or punch their own chest
Todd McKenney
Anyone working in a clothing store in a fashionable part of town, [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

Top 9 Lessons Learnt from Australia’s Terrible TV Game Shows of the Past

May 27, 2009

There are many lessons to be learnt from our nation’s blunderings through TV game shows. For every Sale of the Century and It’s a Knockout, there’s still fecal dregs like Keynotes and The Up Late Game Show With Hotdogs lurking under the televisual toilet bowl rim.
So, onwards! Let our future game show concepts learn from [...]

3 comments Read the full post →

If You’re a Journalist Suffering ADHD, I’ve Got a Magazine Who Wants to Employ You

May 25, 2009

For many years now, I’ve subscribed to Kerrang! magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the subject matter, it was recently described as “the metal equivalent of a teenage gossip magazine” by the host of my favourite music podcast. He’s bang on the money.
There’s been a few things that’ve started bugging me about the magazine in recent [...]

2 comments Read the full post →
Page 1 of 3123