From the category archives:

Celebrities, TV and the media

The Dyson is Right

February 9, 2009

Over the weekend, we happened to pass a store in South Melbourne with the gut-bustingly enthusiastic name: READY, STEADY, VACUUM! The store cracked me up because it sounds like a gameshow gagging to be hosted by Ian Turpie. Presumably, the premise wouldn’t be too dissimilar from the sadly-retired Supermarket Sweep, but retooled for a more [...]

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Whodunnyit?

January 26, 2009

Edit: Google has removed these images, but they originally showed a bloke doing his business on an outdoor toilet for the world to see. You may have seen a Google Street View photo going around of this poor bastard in the last few days. That house is actually within walking distance of my place. My [...]

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Top Five Reasons We’re Moving House

January 5, 2009

We’re moving house in a few weeks. This has caused us to reassess all the things we’ve never been able to do or buy in our current house. We’ve concluded the top five benefits are: 1. Domestic boxing bag Adam has longed for a boxing bag in the home, but we’ve never had enough room. [...]

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The Life History of Maggie “Evil” Tabberer

November 6, 2008

For some reason, Maggie Tabberer scares the shit out of me. She just seems to exhude pure evil. I mean, look at her. Wearing a cape and… plotting. You try and prove anyone wearing a cape isn’t evil (my own 15-year-old goth misadventures in a quest to find a sense of self not included). That [...]

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Sleepless and Stalked by Sunrise

November 3, 2008

Today I’m stumbling around in a somewhat zombie-like state. For ridiculous reasons not worth explaining, I was required to start work at 2am today; so now I’m home and not sure if I’m supposed to be sleeping or not. It’s a corporate simulation of the un-fun part of being strung out on speed, I suppose. [...]

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If You’re Into Man-on-Tree Action, Do I Have the Show For You

October 27, 2008

Although we have Foxtel at our place, it’s really much more Adam’s toy than something I watch. Despite the enticement of shows like Naked and Funny (think Candid Camera with boobs, filmed in what appears to be Belarus in the 1990s) and my favourite Bio Channel documentary of the year – I Can’t Stop Masturbating [...]

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If You Thought Nickelback Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

March 27, 2006

It’s two weeks ago now, but we had a great send-off from our Woolloomooloo crew the night before we flew down to Melbourne. Our mate Julian hosted the do – he used to be a barrister. Fortunately, for the sake of the entire postcode region’s safety, Adam managed to find Julian’s old barrister gear, and [...]

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Gleecoffeemorning Androidbian

January 31, 2006

So I’ve whittled all the opportunities down to one of the best jobs I can think of: penning the lyrics to teen punk songs. Because really, this job now needs to be outsourced to generate the maximum angst-impact and ensure your music is stolen as much racking up as many sales as possible. Simple Plan [...]

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Licence to… Point Out When You Need Your Hazard Lights On

January 7, 2006

Man, I’m happy that Nein lost the rights to the footy. No more of the Nein bullshit like Eddie, the skycam (which was totally ridiculous for a game which pisses about all over the oval, not up and down the field like league does), ridiculous juggling of live matches with the NRL – although I’m [...]

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