From the category archives:

Fitness

How to Make Polo Hardcore

February 1, 2010
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Many of my mates are into cycling hardcore. I’ve grown to appreciate single-speed bikes over the years, and I definitely love going for a roll on the weekends… but my helmet always betrays my try-hard cycling hipster image. Look, I purchased my helmet when I bought my first bike because it was red. That was [...]

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Stretched to Death

November 6, 2009

Imagine a German Shepherd being injected with speed, then playing catch. That’s more or less my finesse on a treadmill. Seeing as my daily treadmill flail tends to attract the attention of everyone at the gym, I was suspicious when I noticed a lone fellow in the corner not paying any attention. As I alighted [...]

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Electric Bicycles and the Losers that Ride Them: A Plague on Society

September 16, 2009

Electric bikes: a fitness placebo for the morbidly lazy. When was the last time you didn’t snort in derision when some lazy tosser squealed and whirred past you in one of these up the pavement? It’s like committing to a golf buggy or ride-on lawnmower, without benefiting from any of the function – not to [...]

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Post-Op… No, Not THAT Kind of Post-Op

August 27, 2009

My face currently resembles what would happen if Jeannie Little went completely over the edge, and began wildly swiping her own blood on her face as makeup. Yessir, I’m back from the hospital after my nose operation. Before the operation, I’d over-ambitiously planned all sorts of books to read, housework to tidy up, basically make [...]

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My Boyfriend, the Psychic Medical Doctor

July 27, 2009

Last week, Adam embarked on his traditional Friday night drunken bicycle ride home from work. Unluckily for him, the sky was shedding more tears than the contestants of a Channel 10 reality show, and the roads were rather sodden. This resulted in a spectacular stack on his part – he was trying to lean into [...]

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When the Concept of a Home Gym Goes Too Far

June 25, 2009

The owner of our local gym is an awesome bloke, but I find it strange that he seems to be working at every given hour of the day. He’s more dedicated to his job than Natalie Bassingthwaite is to hypnotising the nation via TV with her crazy eyes. If I rock up to the gym [...]

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What’s More Painful: Lifting Your Entire Body Weight, or Breakast Radio?

February 22, 2009

It seems I may have to adjust the description of my site: for almost a month now, I’ve given up the grog in the name of fitness for the time being. This has been accompanied by a rather riduculous catalogue of other fitness-related activities at fairly criminal hours of the day. My early weights training [...]

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The Exciting World of Information Cagefightology

January 8, 2009

We recently took out health insurance for the first time. Almost right on cue, my body began packing it in immediately. Over the weekend, I began developing a pain in my back which I’d otherwise blame on having seen The Day The Earth Stood Still a few hours prior. However, I couldn’t recall physically exerting [...]

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Top Five Reasons We’re Moving House

January 5, 2009

We’re moving house in a few weeks. This has caused us to reassess all the things we’ve never been able to do or buy in our current house. We’ve concluded the top five benefits are: 1. Domestic boxing bag Adam has longed for a boxing bag in the home, but we’ve never had enough room. [...]

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When Transhumanism Attacks

December 3, 2008

There’s a reason I like my new gym: it’s a roidmuncher haven. Let’s be honest: if you’re working out, you may as well have something nice to look at. While I’ve been to other gyms in the past, they were all much too broad a representation of the community. No, what I have is a [...]

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